How to Get Over an Ex‐Boyfriend Who Ignores You

Getting Closure

Avoid contacting your ex. Don’t chase your ex or push him to have one last conversation with you, even if you think it would give you closure. For whatever reason, he doesn’t want to talk to you, so leave him alone. You’ll regret it if you spill your feelings to someone who doesn’t care about you. If you really get tempted to call or text your ex, call a friend instead, or turn off your phone and write in a journal. Remove him from your phone contacts, or ask a friend to do so.

Accept that the relationship is over. First things first: stop holding out hope that you and your ex might get back together. He probably wouldn’t be ignoring you if he felt the same way. Tell yourself firmly that it’s over, and make a conscious decision to start moving on. Discourage yourself from pining by thinking about all the reasons you and your ex weren’t right for each other. For example, maybe he never cared about your opinion or wasn't quite fond of your friends.

Write down your feelings. You can’t pour your feelings out to your ex (and that might not be a good idea anyways), so pour them out on paper instead. Write a letter to your ex with everything you wish you could say in person. Don’t send it – put it away somewhere or throw it out. Repeat as many times as you need to. For instance, you might start by writing something like, "Dear Jamie, I'm really hurt and shocked by our sudden breakup. I thought we would last..."

Perform a symbolic act that represents the relationship's end. Give your relationship a funeral by burning or throwing away a present, a love note, or something else that reminds you of your ex. Make sure to do this somewhere you won’t set anything else on fire. You might also donate items in good condition to Goodwill.

Allowing Yourself to Heal

Realize that you may never get complete closure. Closure is a nice idea, but sometimes it just isn’t possible. You can’t always wrap up a relationship in a satisfying way, especially if your breakup was messy or your ex ghosted you. Instead of chasing closure, resolve to leave your ex in the past and live the best life you can from this point forward.

Give yourself two weeks to wallow. Feeling gloomy (or downright miserable) is all but inevitable after a breakup, so don’t try to prevent it. Let yourself cry, eat ice cream, and watch sappy movies with your friends for a week or two. Once you’ve purged your feelings, take a deep breath and start pulling yourself together. Don’t wallow for too long, or you’ll get stuck in a rut of feeling sorry for yourself.

Pick up a hobby. Get your mind off your ex by doing something you like. Pick up a new hobby you haven’t tried before, or return to an old favorite. Your hobby will be especially therapeutic if it gets you out of the house or provides an avenue for helping other people. For instance, if you like to write, join a local writers’ group. If you like swimming, volunteer as a lifeguard at the community pool. Consider picking up a hobby that you have wanted to try for a while. Avoid hobbies that remind you of your ex.

See your friends. Get some much-needed emotional support by calling a friend for a chat or scheduling a movie night with several of your pals. Don’t just rehash your relationship when you see them, though. Tell them you’re trying to get over your ex, and ask them to help take your mind off him by talking about other things.

Laugh. You might not feel like laughing right now, but try to do it anyways. Go to a comedy club, rent a funny movie, or watch a playlist of your favorite YouTube comedians. If all else fails, just do your best fake laugh, and soon you’ll feel better for real.

Spend time in nature. Getting out into the sunshine and fresh air gives you an instant mood boost, so take advantage of it. Go for a hike in the woods, or spread out a blanket in your backyard and relax for an hour or two.

Moving On

Stop hoping to be friends with your ex. You might miss your ex, but it’s a bad idea to try to keep him in your life. For one, he isn’t even talking to you, so you might look a little desperate if you try to stay friends. It’s also hard for most people to move on emotionally if their ex is still front and center in their mind.

Stay away from places you know your ex might be. Your ex won’t change his mind about you if you “accidentally” run into him at one of his usual haunts. In fact, he might be annoyed. You also might undo all of your emotional progress if you come face-to-face with him again. Don’t risk it – just avoid places your ex is likely to be. Avoid places you went on dates with your ex, too. Consider this a chance to try new places.

Block your ex on social media. Don’t rub salt into your wounds by watching your ex interact with other people on Facebook. Block him ASAP. Otherwise, you’ll end up scrolling through his photos or wall at some point, and that’s not a good way to get over somebody. You might also want to block your ex’s closest friends on Facebook, especially if you think they might upload photos with him in them.

Focus on your goals. Put your energy into something that’s more important than your ex. When you’re trying to achieve something that really matters to you, you’ll have less mental energy to waste on a guy who’s not even in your life anymore. For instance, you might want to focus on moving to a different city, doing well at your new job, or finishing a big creative project.

Date someone new. When you feel emotionally ready, try going on a few low-pressure dates with new people. Meeting someone you really like is a tried-and-true way to leave a mediocre ex behind you. Just be careful not to rebound too fast, or you could end up getting hurt. Wait at least a month before you start dating again. If you've been together for over a year, wait longer than a month before you start dating again.