Making the Interactions Positive
Be friendly. Whether you’re humoring someone you know or a stranger, it doesn’t hurt to be friendly. You might engage in some small talk or have a brief conversation. Slow down for a moment and be congenial. Making time for someone is a friendly way to engage with them.
Give positive feedback. Don’t judge or get the person down. Keep the discussion light and positive as they speak. Agree with them over trivial things and encourage them in positive ways. For example, if someone wants to be humored about a sewing class they’re taking, say, “That sounds great. I’m sure it’ll be fun for you!”
Provide validation. Validate their experience, choice, or something else you think they might want validation for. Even if you aren’t excited about what they’re talking about, you can still validate what they’re thinking, feeling, or doing. For example, if they are excited about a big sale you know you won’t attend, you can say, “That sounds great! I hope you get some good deals!” If you’re not interested in the topic, try not to end the conversation with, “Let me know how it goes”. This comment invites further interaction about the topic you’d like to avoid.
Monitor your body language. Even if you’re slightly annoyed, avoid tapping your foot, looking away as if bored, or rolling your eyes. You’re humoring someone, so don't do anything that might be interpreted as rude. Be respectful in both your words and your actions. Notice if you’re crossing your arms, not making eye contact, or generally sending a message that you’re annoyed or bored. Avoid fidgeting, which makes you look bored.
Giving Your Attention
Focus on what they’re saying. If someone is speaking, give them your attention. Don’t be distracted or involved in something else like playing on your phone. Be considerate and listen. It’s unlikely the person will want to be humored for much time. Give them your attention while you humor them.
Provide small verbal comments. Saying a small ‘uh-huh’ or ‘yes’ or ‘I see’ shows that you’re listening and engaged in what they’re saying. Give them some positive encouragement through small comments. You can also say, “Oh?” or “And?” to encourage them to go on.
Smile and make eye contact to show that you’re listening. Smiling shows that you’re listening and not put off by what they’re saying. It shows that you’re engaged and listening. Be open and receptive to their words and show your openness by smiling. Don’t forget to make eye contact, too. Checking in every so often with your eyes also shows that you’re listening.
Nod your head. Nodding your head helps the person know that you’re engaged and listening. Nodding also shows that you’re paying attention and with the speaker. It can also show affirmation or agreement.
Avoid interrupting them. Interruptions can say that you’re too busy to listen or that what you have to say is more important. If you’re humoring someone, you’re just casually listening to what they say. Be kind and not rude. There’s no need to rush them or say something on top of what they’re saying.
Respect your own time. Some people enjoy talking more than you enjoy listening. If you humor them for a while, know when to cut out of the conversation. You might need to go somewhere or do something, or just disengage from the conversation. Know how to end things so that you can leave. For example, say, “It’s been great chatting. I’m heading out, see you later!” Find a polite way to end the conversation when necessary, as humoring someone can only go on so long. You might say, “Thanks for letting me know about your book club. It’s not really my thing, but I’ll pass the information along to my friend, Jane, who loves to read.”
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