What does "survival mode" mean?
"Survival mode" is a constant state of stress. When you're in survival mode, your brain and body are essentially in a constant state of "fight or flight," ready to spring into action against a perceived threat. This can be a benefit in the short-term when you need to act urgently, but if you sustain this level of stress for any extended period, it can take a serious mental and physical toll. In real emergencies, such as a natural disaster, survival mode is a helpful physiological feature. It keeps your focus on what you need to do to get out of the situation alive. When you're not faced with such a dire threat, your mind and body are essentially constantly gearing up to fight or flee something that never comes. As stuck as you might feel, it is possible to pull yourself out of survival mode—ideally with the support of close friends and family.
Signs You're Living in Survival Mode
You have a hard time focusing. You might not be able to keep your mind on the task at hand, or you might sit down to read an article and find you have to read the same paragraph 3 times to make sense of it. When your mind is so overwhelmed with stress, you don't have a lot of energy to commit to tasks. You might also notice that you have a hard time thinking about the future. When you're trapped in survival mode, it can be really difficult to think more than a day or two (or even an hour or two) ahead. Your inability to think about the future might also cause you to be more impulsive or act without thinking about the long-term consequences.
You experience memory lapses or forgetfulness. This can be something as minor as walking into a room and forgetting why you went there, or as major as forgetting a promise you made to show up for someone. When you're in survival mode, your brain prioritizes the information that affects your survival in that moment and tends to disregard everything else. This means that your brain doesn't process information the same way it would if you weren't in survival mode. As a result, you might find that you can't account for whole periods during the day.
You feel tired all of the time. Living in survival mode can be physically, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually draining. If you constantly feel spent, no matter how much sleep you get, it's possible that you're living in survival mode. You're carrying such a heavy psychic load as a result of living in survival mode, it's hard for your body to recover within a single night of sleep. Being so stressed out can also mean that you're having trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, which can compound the problem.
You have trouble relaxing or feel guilty relaxing. When you're in survival mode, you can feel bad about relaxing or taking time to yourself. Your survival mode brain is telling you that you're not safe, that there's still work to be done. But the reality is that even if there is still work to be done, you can't pour from an empty cup. Particularly if you're in survival mode as a result of a large-scale disaster, it's important for you to take whatever time you can, when you can, to recharge. You likely also have difficulty just going out and having fun with friends. This can cause you to have less interest in activities you used to enjoy or to feel more socially withdrawn.
You have extreme reactions to minor issues. It's called a low frustration tolerance. Basically, when so much of your energy is being used up in survival mode, you have very little left to handle things with grace. Instead, you might fly off the handle at the slightest inconvenience. You might even have the sense that your reaction is out of proportion to the problem, but you feel powerless to control it.
You drink or take drugs to try to "numb" yourself. In many ways, this is a totally rational response. You have difficulty relaxing but your body needs to rest and recharge. If you feel guilty for taking that time, alcohol or drugs can help you forget. In high-stress times, many people increase their drug or alcohol use in an attempt to blunt the pain of the trauma. Unfortunately, using alcohol or drugs for this reason can cause you to develop a damaging dependency. If you're worried about your relationship with drugs or alcohol, take steps now to change it.
You have difficulty trusting others. If you spend long enough in survival mode, you'll start to feel as though others just aren't taking things as seriously as they should be. You can start to believe that this means they're not safe and can't be trusted to keep you safe. Over time, this can seriously harm your relationships with the people closest to you. It can also make it difficult for people who love you to find ways to support you. This symptom tends to be more common with folks who've survived extremely traumatic experiences, particularly those who have PTSD.
How to Stop Living in Survival Mode
Focus on self-care and treat yourself with kindness. When you're living in survival mode, it's easy to let self-care fall by the wayside. Fortunately, self-care also gives you a way out of survival mode. Start by thinking of and treating yourself like your own best friend. Remember: self-care doesn't just mean bubble baths and spa days. Think about the things you do that nourish your soul and make you feel really good—those are acts of self-care for you.
Use meditation and movement to connect with your body. Living in survival mode can cause you to disconnect from your body. To reconnect and help pull yourself out of survival mode, go for slow, gentle exercise that promotes focus and mental calm, such as yoga, tai chi, or pilates. Practicing mindfulness and gratitude can also help you snap out of survival mode and start living fully and in the present.
Set boundaries to protect the space you need to heal. It's easy to get overwhelmed when you always do everything anyone asks you to do. Getting out of survival mode means really thinking about what you want to do with your life and learning how to say no to people. Think of establishing boundaries as an act of self-love because you're looking out for your own well-being.
Reach out to friends and family for support. Living in survival mode can cause you to isolate yourself. If you reverse that trend by spending time with people you love, you'll find it much easier to get out of survival mode. Your friends and family can help you as well as provide emotional support, but beyond that, they help you see that you're not alone. In the wake of a large-scale disaster or emergency situation, nurturing these connections is vital and will definitely help you feel less isolated or cut off.
Talk to a mental health professional. If you find it difficult to break out of survival mode on your own, a therapist or counselor can help. It's especially helpful to reach out to a therapist in the immediate aftermath of any traumatic situation. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is one method that can be particularly helpful if you're stuck in survival mode. It can help you develop new ways to cope with problems that trigger you to go into survival mode.
What causes survival mode?
Survival mode is a physiological response to a perceived threat. That word "perceived" is important, because the threat might not actually be there. This stress response is designed to enable you to respond to literal life-or-death threats. The problem is that your brain might pull the trigger on "survival mode" as a response to stressful situations that aren't actually life-or-death in the present moment, including: Unresolved trauma from the past High-stress, unpredictable environments, such as natural disasters Constant levels of stress or burnout Traumatic living situations Prolonged grief Significant changes in your life or normal routine
Survival mode is often triggered by several factors. If you find yourself stuck in survival mode for an extended period, it's usually got more than one cause. For example, the major life changes, high-stress, unpredictability, and loss that many suffered during the COVID-19 pandemic left many stuck in survival mode even years later. While you might not be able to do anything about all of the causes, it definitely helps to know what they are! Identifying the problem can help you find other ways to deal with it that are healthier for you.
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