How to Respond to an "I Miss You" Text

“What a coincidence! I miss you, too!”

Let them know their feelings are reciprocated. It’s the obvious response, but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad one. They’ll breathe a sigh of relief once they know you’ve been thinking of them, too.

“Tell me about your day.”

Things may have gotten busy for both of you, but you still care. An inevitable part of life is losing touch with people you care about. But picking up right where you left off can teach you more about your relationship, connection and communication styles. If things are awkward at first, give it time. You may not have easy, flowing conversation right off the bat, especially if it’s been a while.

“I know ????”

Be a little flirty! This is perfect if you saw each other recently and had a great time. Of course they miss you! What’s not to miss? If they leave you on Read, don’t worry. They might be feeling shy. Don’t be scared to follow up with a question or an invitation to go out again soon.

“Wish you were here.”

Absence may make the heart grow fonder, but it’s still hard. Find ways to make it feel like you’re in the same place by virtually recreating normal, everyday activities. Set up a time when you can sit down and enjoy a meal together over Zoom or watch your favorite movie using Netflix or other streaming services.

“Omg. I just saw this pic of us the other day.”

Reminisce a little! If it’s been a while since you’ve seen each other in person, remind them what it felt like to be close. They’ll be counting down the days until you’re finally able to reunite. This opens up an opportunity to start planning a time to see each other again. Don’t be afraid to let them know you’re eager to get together.

“I can’t wait to see you again!”

This is a great response no matter when you saw them last. Yesterday? So cute. A few months ago? How exciting! A whole year? You’ve waited long enough! Exchanging “I miss you” messages back and forth can make a relationship feel sort of dull. But sending this message reminds you both that there is something to look forward to.

“Me too! Remember that time (insert sweet memory you have with them here)”

You can’t beat nostalgia. Maybe you went to a concert recently and you wished they had been there, or saw a movie in the theater you know they would have loved. Sharing these kinds of things makes them feel connected to you, even if you’re not able to see each other as much as you’d like.

“I was thinking about you the other day. I’m so happy to hear from you.”

Sometimes the best plan of action is to be direct. Tell them how you really feel! It’s easy to get in your own head expressing your feelings, but just imagine how warm you’d feel inside if someone told you they were happy to hear from you and that you were on their mind. It’s often easier said than done, but try not to overthink. Go with your gut!

“Let’s do something tonight!”

Plan a date! Go get dinner or drinks. Something casual and easy to plan on short notice. If they aren’t free that day, ask them when they’re available to meet up. If your only option is to meet virtually, be creative! Drink wine and paint portraits of each other. Do an online museum tour. Find what they’re interested in and get imaginative.

“It’s been forever. Can we video chat sometime this week?”

Give a realistic timeframe for when you want to talk next. If you can’t this week, then maybe next week or the following weekend. Ask them what times work for them. Saying “sometime soon” can seem dismissive and noncommittal. You don’t want them to think you just feel obligated to catch up. Let them know you’re excited to see them and hear how they’re doing.

“That’s kind of you to say! Thank you.”

This can be a good response if you’re feeling skeptical of their intentions. Actions speak louder than words, and if their actions aren’t aligning with this out-of-the-blue “I miss you” text, this response will make them see where they’ve gone wrong. And maybe make them feel a little embarrassed for taking an automatic “I miss you, too!” response for granted. You can even wait a day to send it. Or two. Or three!

“I appreciate you saying that, but I do not feel the same way.”

There is no shame in setting boundaries. In fact, it’s one of the kindest things you can do for yourself, especially if this relationship has grown toxic. It’s fine to end the conversation right here, even if they keep responding. Prioritize your wellbeing, and block their number if you need to. If it’s not necessarily a harmful relationship, but one that lacks romantic feelings, you can tell them you’d like to stay friends. But only say it if you really mean it. It’s completely fine if you want the relationship to end altogether.

“I miss the way we used to be.”

Moving on can be difficult. Whether you two have grown apart or your relationship has morphed into an unhealthy habit, sometimes the only way forward is to do so separately. It’s okay to miss the way things were, but there’s only so much you can do to salvage a relationship. You can’t go back in time, even though you may feel like it would solve everything. Remember what made you want to leave and hold on to that. It may save you from starting another cycle of hurt.

“I’ve been missing you for a while. I feel like you push me away.”

Anyone can say “I miss you,” but when it really matters, are they there for you? How do they show you they care? Do you feel like you’re constantly putting in more effort than they are? This kind of text can rope you back into something that hasn’t been working. However, if it’s a relationship you’re hoping to salvage, this might start a conversation about getting back on track.

“You say you miss me, but you never show me you care.”

Maybe it was good once, but it isn’t anymore. People change, relationships change, and it’s normal to grieve for them. But staying in a relationship that no longer makes you happy takes everything out of you. There’s no way to anticipate how they’ll respond to this message. After all, you are only in charge of your behavior. But if you lead with respect, you can only hope they will do the same.