What Does “You Do You” Mean?

What does “you do you” mean?

“You do you” means you should do whatever feels right to you. People often say this phrase to encourage others to trust their instincts and do what they think is best. If someone says “you do you” to you, they’re telling you to follow whatever course of action makes the most sense for you, no matter what anyone else thinks.

“You do you” can have different connotations in different situations. In a more positive context, someone might say “you do you” to genuinely offer their support and encourage you to do whatever feels right for you. On the other hand, someone might say “you do you” when you’re making a decision they disagree with, but they feel like you won’t hear their opinion or listen to their advice. Here are some examples: Example 1: You’ve decided to make a career change into a field you’re more passionate about, but you’re worried about what others will think. You text a friend to tell them about the situation, and they reply: “I know it can be scary to make a big change, but I’m so proud of you for following your passion. Don’t worry about what anyone thinks—at the end of the day, you know what’s best for you. You do you, Jordan!” In this example, “you do you” has a positive connotation. Your friend is being upbeat and enthusiastic, and they want to support you in your endeavors. Example 2: You’ve decided to get back together with someone after a rocky on-again-off-again relationship, even though your loved ones don’t trust them anymore. When you tell a friend that you’ve gotten back together, they say: “You know how I feel about them, and I can’t honestly say I’m thrilled they’re back in your life. But at the end of the day I just want you to be happy, so you do you.” In this example, “you do you” has a slightly more negative connotation. Your friend is acknowledging that you have the right to make your own decisions, but their lack of enthusiasm hints that they disagree with your choice.

How to Use “You Do You” in Conversation

Say “you do you” to encourage someone to do what’s best for them. If someone tells you about a choice they’re making, but they’re worried about what others will think, consider saying “you do you.” This will remind them that they need to make whatever decisions feel right, and that you support them no matter what. Here are a few examples: “I know you’re worried about how your family will react when they hear you’re moving to a new city, but you just got your dream job, and you can’t pass this chance up. I know they’ll come around eventually, but for now, you do you!” “It doesn’t matter that everyone else liked the second dress better at your bridal fitting. If you liked the third dress best, that’s the one you have to pick! It’s your wedding, so you need to feel beautiful in what you’re wearing. You do you!”

Say “you do you” when you disagree with someone but respect their choice. Sometimes, a friend or loved one will make a choice that you aren’t completely on board with, but it’s not your place to steer them in a different direction. When this happens, it could be appropriate to say “you do you.” This lets them know that you might not agree with them completely, but you respect their right to make their own decisions. For example: “I know you want to give them another chance, but I’m a little wary since they hurt your feelings so badly the last time you guys were close friends. At the end of the day, it’s your decision, so you do you!” “I think this camping trip would be a great bonding experience for us, but I understand that camping isn’t really your thing. Ultimately, you have to do what feels right for you, so if you need to sit this one out it’s okay. You do you!”

When is it appropriate to share your opinion?

If someone asks for your opinion, give it. When someone asks for your advice or perspective on a situation, this is a green light to share your honest thoughts. Let them know what you think they should do, and offer any expertise you might have.

If someone hasn’t asked for your advice, pause before offering it. If you feel like you have an important opinion to share, it can be tempting to blurt it out, even if the other person hasn’t asked for advice. Unfortunately, unsolicited advice can come across as a bit rude or presumptuous. Sometimes, loved ones simply want a listening ear, rather than a solution. Ask yourself if it seems like your friend is looking for advice, or if they just need to vent. Do they want a game plan to fix a problem, or do they just want to be listened to? If it seems like your friend just needs support and affirmation, be a good listener, and avoid offering any unsolicited advice. If your friend seems like they are looking for solutions to a problem, it may be appropriate to share your perspective. Just ask them if this is okay first. For example, you could say: “Would it be helpful for me to give you some advice, or do you just need to vent and get it all out? It’s totally fine either way!” “Is there anything I can do to help? I don’t want to overstep, but if you need any advice or support, I’m here.”