Face & Head Body Language
Tilting the head to one side When someone tilts their head to the side, it often indicates interest and focus. If you’re speaking to someone and they do this, you can bet they’re invested in what you’re saying. Associated emotions and attitudes: Interest, curiosity, thoughtfulness
Head held high We don’t have the phrase “head held high” for nothing! This nonverbal cue is a sign that someone believes in themselves, is confident, and is open to connecting with others, in contrast to a bowed head, which might signify uncertainty or shyness. Associated emotions and attitudes: Assertiveness, empowerment, confidence, openness
Bowed head While a head held high suggests a person is confident and open, a head hanging low suggests a lack of confidence, uncertainty, or perhaps rejection. A bowed head is often accompanied by a downward gaze, suggesting a desire to avoid connection with others. Associated emotions and attitudes: Shyness, uncertainty, lack of confidence, rejection
Head in hands A person may put their head in their hands when they’re feeling low or when they’re overwhelmed and exhausted. They may do this as a result of frustration, dejection, or shame. However, someone may also put their head in their hands when they’re simply bored or tired. Associated emotions and attitudes: Dejection, overwhelm, exhaustion, upset, boredom
Microexpressions Microexpressions refer to the subtle or rapidly changing facial expressions that typically occur within 1/25th of a second. They’re usually unconscious and uncontrollable, and they may occur when someone is deliberately trying to conceal their emotions. For example, someone might show surprise with raised eyebrows and an open mouth or disgust with narrowed eyes and a wrinkled nose. Associated emotions and attitudes: Mistrust, privacy, reserve, hidden motives or emotions
Eye Body Language
Frequent blinking Excessive blinking may indicate distress or discomfort. Someone may blink rapidly or frequently when they’re flustered or panicked, or when they’re taken aback by something. Associated emotions and attitudes: Stress, discomfort, surprise, panic
Infrequent blinking Infrequent blinking may indicate that someone is very focused or absorbed in thought. It may also suggest they’re deliberately trying to manage their eye movements (for instance, a poker player with a good hand may want to avoid seeming too excited, so they may deliberately attempt to blink less). Associated emotions and attitudes: Concentration, suspicion
Eye contact Making eye contact typically indicates someone is engaged in an interaction. (If the eye contact goes on too long, though, it could feel a tad threatening or awkward.) Associated emotions and attitudes: Interest, friendliness, openness, confidence
Looking down While making and holding eye contact usually indicates confidence or a desire to connect, a person might look down when they want to avoid someone’s gaze or go unnoticed by others. Looking down may indicate a lack of desire to connect with someone, or it may suggest a lack of confidence. Associated emotions and attitudes: Reserve, uncertainty, anxiety, shyness
Raised eyebrows You may not be surprised to hear that raised brows may indicate surprise, intrigue, or fear. But did you know they also indicate trustworthiness? According to one study, the best way to convey trustworthiness is to slightly raise your eyebrows and give a slight smile. It expresses both friendliness and confidence. Associated emotions and attitudes: Curiosity, friendliness, surprise, openness
Dilated pupils According to clinical psychologist Dr. Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS, “When we find someone attractive, it’s our pupils that give our interests away. Almost instantly, our pupils begin to dilate and reveal our internal desires.” Associated emotions and attitudes: Desire, romantic interest, arousal
Mouth Body Language
Pursed lips A person may press their lips together when they’re deep in thought of considering something. But pursed lips may also suggest disapproval, especially when pulled to the side. Associated emotions and attitudes: Concentration, disappointment, disapproval, irritation
Lip biting Biting lips may suggest someone is nervous or stressed, but it may also suggest preoccupation or deep thought. Sometimes, biting the lip is a subconscious or conscious signifier of attraction or arousal. Associated emotions and attitudes: Anxiety, concentration, desire
Covering the mouth This may be a polite attempt to disguise a yawn, cough, or burp, but could also be an attempt to conceal a disapproving frown. Someone may also conceal part of their face when they desire privacy, are feeling anxious, or are surprised or shocked. Associated emotions and attitudes: Disapproval, politeness, anxiety, surprise
Turned-up mouth You don’t need to be outright smiling to convey happiness or contentment—even just a slight upturn to the corners of your mouth can signify positive feelings. Associated emotions and attitudes: Contentment, peace, friendliness
Turned-down mouth When the corners of the mouth are turned slightly downward, it often indicates frustration, disapproval, or sadness. However, some people’s mouths may fall into this position naturally, or when they’re in deep focus. Associated emotions and attitudes: Annoyance, disapproval, sadness, concentration
Smiling When genuine, smiling conveys friendliness and openness, as well as joy. It may also express sarcasm or cynicism when not genuine. "Smiling... goes a long way in being inviting and approachable,” adds dating and relationship coach Mark Rosenfeld. How do you know when a smile is genuine? A Duchenne smile (aka, a genuine smile) pulls the corners of the mouth upward and engages the cheeks and eyes, not just the mouth. Associated emotions and attitudes: Joy, friendliness, peace, sarcasm
Body Language Gestures
Clenched fist A clenched fist often indicates anger. It could also signify pride or solidarity, especially when raised. Associated emotions and attitudes: anger, frustration, stress, pride, empowerment
The middle finger In America, presenting your middle finger to someone is a way of expressing strong disapproval. It’s a crass, offensive gesture, so it’s best not to use it! Associated emotions and attitudes: disapproval, anger, sarcasm
Thumbs up Giving a thumbs up is a positive gesture and typically suggests approval. This gesture is usually presented to another person to show you like something or to express encouragement. One thumb is good—two thumbs? Fantastic. Be aware that in certain parts of the world, including the Middle East and South Asia, the thumbs up sign is considered offensive—it’s essentially the equivalent of giving someone the middle finger in America. Associated emotions and attitudes: approval, encouragement
Thumbs down Giving a thumbs down is a negative hand gesture and usually suggests disapproval. This gesture is typically presented to someone else to indicate you dislike something. One thumb is enough to say you disapprove, but offering two thumbs down indicates you’re really not jiving with something or someone. Associated emotions and attitudes: disapproval, annoyance
OK sign This positive hand gesture is made by touching the thumb and index finger together in a circle and extending the remaining 3 fingers. It’s often used to mean “OK” or “all right,” but in some parts of the world, this gesture is offensive. In certain countries, like Brazil, France, and Germany, this symbol means, “You’re a zero” or “You’re a loser.” This symbol has also been co-opted in recent years by people on the alt-right to mean “white power.” The three free fingers resemble a “W,” for “white,” while the circle formed by the thumb and index finger is meant to resemble the circle of the letter “P,” for “power.” Associated emotions and attitudes: approval, relaxation
V sign The V sign is made by lifting the index and middle finger and holding them separate to form a V. It means peace or victory in many places—but in the UK and Australia, this gesture is offensive when the back of the hand faces out. Associated emotions and attitudes: empowerment, joy
Arms, Legs, Hands & Feet Body Language
Crossed arms Psychotherapist and relationship expert Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW, notes that crossed arms can indicate discomfort, anger, or an unwillingness to talk. However, someone may also cross their arms when their feeling unsure about themselves or unsafe. Associated emotions and attitudes: Discomfort, reserve, anger, defensiveness, self-protection
Hands on hips Someone might stand with their hands on their hips when they’re in a position of authority or when they’re prepared to begin a task. However, they may also place their hands on their hips during an argument or to signify anger. Associated emotions and attitudes: Authority, empowerment, eagerness, aggression, frustration
Open palms Holding your palms open, or gesturing with them open, may indicate openness or trustworthiness. In contrast, closed or concealed palms may suggest suspicion or something to hide. Associated emotions and attitudes: Openness, trustworthiness
Hands behind the back A person may clasp their hands behind their back when they’re anxious or unsure, especially when paired with other cues like rigid posture or a furrowed brow. But it could also be a sign of boredom or impatience, especially when paired with a more relaxed face, tapping feet, or a wandering gaze. Associated emotions and attitudes: Anxiety, uncertainty, boredom, impatience
Tapping the fingers or fidgeting People tend to fidget when they’re irritated, or when trying to pass the time. Fidgeting could also indicate nerves or anxiety. Fidgeting might include finger-tapping, toe-tapping, hair-twirling, and other rapid, repetitive, and often unconscious movements. Associated emotions and attitudes: Boredom, impatience, annoyance, stress
Rubbing or touching the nose Touching the nose is a classic “tell” in poker—but there’s truth to this cliche: unconsciously touching your nose with your index finger may be perceived as a sign of dishonesty. When you see someone touch their nose while speaking to you, you may start to doubt the accuracy of their words. Associated emotions and attitudes: Suspicion, reserve, dishonesty
Steepling the fingers A person may steeple their fingers—that is, touch the tips of the fingers from one hand to the fingertips of the other hand—when in a position of authority. Bosses and politicians may consciously or unconsciously use this gesture to suggest power. Associated emotions and attitudes: Authority, control, confidence
Crossed legs Crossed legs may suggest a person is feeling socially withdrawn or desires privacy. People may cross their legs in order to take up less space or to be less noticeable. In some cases, crossed legs may indicate a person feels unsafe or insecure. However, it can also simply be a comfortable sitting position for someone. Associated emotions and attitudes: Reserve, privacy, uncertainty, submissiveness
Uncrossed legs While crossed legs may indicate reserve or submission, crossed legs—especially spread legs—may suggest dominance or entitlement. Open and/or widespread legs may indicate a willingness to take up more space or to be noticed. Associated emotions and attitudes: Dominance, confidence, entitlement
Brisk walking A person may walk quickly when they’re on a mission or in a rush, and this nonverbal cue may signify purposefulness or direction. Even if you’re not going somewhere specific, you can walk briskly to signify you’re confident and self-assured. Associated emotions and attitudes: Confidence, purposefulness, focus
Body Language Postures
Open posture "Posture is such an important part of our communication process,” says voice and speech coach Patrick Muñoz: “It's a really important part of us, the way that people perceive us is our posture." A relaxed, loose posture might indicate friendliness, openness, and relaxation. Examples of open posture include smiling, making eye contact, leaning forward, open arms, and uncrossed legs. Associated emotions and attitudes: Confidence, friendliness, contentment, security
Closed posture Closed posture refers to posture that is rigid: arms and/or legs crossed, shoulders hunched. It’s typically associated with negative emotions or attitudes like a lack of confidence or uncertainty, says Muñoz. When someone is more confident, open, and friendly, their body language tends to be more relaxed and loose. Associated emotions and attitudes: Stress, insecurity, disinterest, displeasure
Mirroring “Mirroring” involves subconsciously adopting the posture of the person you’re interacting with. It shows them you’re safe, friendly, and invested in the conversation. Matchmaker and Dating Coach Michelle Jacoby says this is a good sign to watch out for when you’re on a date: “If someone is…mirroring you—like, you have your hand on your chin, and you look across the table and the person you're on a date with has their hands on their chin—there's a good chance they're feeling connected with you.” Associated emotions and attitudes: Friendliness, interest
Personal Space in Body Language
Intimate (6–18 in (15–46 cm)) How close somebody gets to you (also known in anthropological circles as proxemics) says a lot about how they feel about you and their desire for connection (or lack thereof). An intimate distance is typically reserved for people in close relationships and often occurs when hugging, cuddling, or whispering; if a stranger or someone you didn’t know well got this close to you, you’d likely feel pretty uncomfortable or annoyed. Associated emotions and attitudes: Intimacy, familiarity, care, privacy
Personal (1.5 to 4 ft (0.46 to 1.22 m)) This distance often occurs between family members or close friends. You may eventually draw closer if you become more familiar with the person you’re interacting with. Associated emotions and attitudes: Respect, familiarity
Social distance (4 to 12 ft (1.2 to 3.7 m)) Acquaintances—such as mutual friends or coworkers—might stand a bit farther apart. Once you get to know someone a little better, you might close the gap. Associated emotions and attitudes: Professionalism, respect, privacy
Public distance (12 to 25 ft (3.7 to 7.6 m)) This distance is typically reserved for public speaking events. If you’re a teacher or a lecturer, your audience might be seated farther away from you. Associated emotions and attitudes: Professionalism, reserve, respect Note: How much personal space the average person needs will vary from culture to culture. For example, in Latin and Asian cultures, it’s not uncommon to stand very close to other people, while people in North America often require more space.
The Role of Nonverbal Communication & Body Language
Body language helps us bond with others. Even if what you’re saying conveys friendliness and esteem, it’s your eye contact, open and smiling face, and close proximity to another person that make you really engaging and help you both bond. If they reciprocate your open, friendly body language? Well, you’ve just made a friend!
Someone’s body language can reveal significant truths about them. A person’s body language—especially their facial expressions—can tell you a lot about how they’re really feeling, even if it doesn’t match what they’re saying. Someone’s nonverbal cues may convey happiness, sadness, fear, rage, suspicion, trustworthiness, contempt, desire, excitement, confusion, or any other number of emotions and attitudes—sometimes multiple at once. Did you know? While not all body language is universal, most facial expressions are. Here are just some of the emotions and attitudes you might pick up on via a person’s body language, including positive and negative examples: Happy: open posture; leaning forward; relaxed facial expression Angry: rigid posture; pursed lips; furrowed brows; crossed arms Trustworthy: nodding; open posture; genuine smile; eye contact Suspicious: shifty eyes or lack of eye contact; fidgeting; crossing arms; quick, erratic movements
Body language can reveal a person’s personality traits. A person’s facial expressions, proximity to others, level of physical openness, and more can tell you a lot about their personality—for instance, someone who smiles often, makes strong eye contact, and displays an open posture is probably somewhat extraverted, compared to a person who typically crosses their arms and avoids making eye contact. Note: While body language can tell you a lot, it’s not always accurate. Some body language can communicate multiple messages (for instance, crossed arms could mean someone is feeling vulnerable, but it could also mean they’re angry—or even just cold!). Don’t rely solely on someone’s body language for information.
Our body language can tell us about our own needs. Observe your body language in this moment: are your shoulders slumped? Is your jaw tight? Are you frowning? You may be doing these things unconsciously—but your body is likely trying to tell you that you’re feeling stressed, tired, uncomfortable, or some other unsafe emotion. To display more open, relaxed posture, Muñoz recommends: "Think about…expanding, opening up, bringing your shoulders back, finding a place where you can bring your shoulders…up and back, and then relaxing them so they don't come across as stiff."
How to Read Body Language
Ask yourself if a person’s verbal and nonverbal cues line up. Once you’ve studied the different ways to interpret body language, you can put it to the test by observing a person’s nonverbal communication and noting how well it aligns with what they’re telling you. For example, if someone tells you they’re feeling better about their breakup but their smile only engages their mouth, and not their eyes or cheeks, it’s possible they’re feigning happiness.
Look at the whole picture, not just a single nonverbal cue. It’s easy to get caught up in a specific example of body language and overrely on it for clues as to what someone is really feeling or thinking. But remember that each example of body language is only one part of a larger puzzle. Ask yourself: What nonverbal cues are they employing at the same time? Fidgeting on its own is often seen as a nervous trait or sign of boredom, but combined with open posture and a genuine smile, it could indicate someone is just content or pleasantly preoccupied. Is this trait out of the ordinary for this individual? While difficulty making eye contact may suggest someone is suspicious or reluctant to engage, some people naturally have trouble making eye contact, so it shouldn’t automatically be considered a meaningful cue. Consider what you know of a person and their behavior to help you contextualize their nonverbal cues.
Listen to your gut. In the end, nonverbal and verbal cues can only tell you so much about a person—the rest is up to your gut. If you’re not totally sure what someone’s nonverbal cues are telling you, listen to what your own instincts are saying.
Key Takeaways
We communicate a lot through body language, but it’s not always foolproof. You can learn a great deal about who someone is or how they’re feeling by studying their movements, stance, and expressions. But while most communication may be nonverbal, a significant portion is still verbal, and body language isn’t always foolproof—so don’t rely on a person’s body language for 100% accuracy.
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