- Accept responsibility for your actions so your boss or friend knows you’re accountable.
- Instead of saying “sorry,” try saying “thank you” to stay positive and accept criticism.
- Let your actions speak louder than your words by not repeating the same mistake twice.
Accept responsibility.
One of the best things you can do is take accountability. Whether you’ve done something wrong at work or with a friend, a great way to say you’re sorry is to take responsibility for your actions. For instance, you could say: “I understand that I’m responsible for missing the deadline.” “You’ve been there to help me, and I should’ve been there to support you.” “It’s my fault I wasn’t paying attention to the road.”
Express gratitude.
A simple “thank you” can go beyond an apology. In the workplace, rather than resorting to the term “sorry,” try saying “thank you” instead, especially when it comes to constructive criticism. This is a great way to stay positive, accept feedback, and stop over apologizing. If your boss informs you that you’ve done something wrong or need to improve, show gratitude without admitting guilt with: “Thank you for the feedback.” “I appreciate you bringing this to my attention. How can I improve moving forward?” “Thank you for being honest with me.”
Be appreciative.
Stop over apologizing by showing gratitude and support. A main reason why you may be over apologetic at work is because you’re over compensating for fears or insecurities. Take each mistake and critique as a learning lesson—how can you grow stronger? Replace apologetic language with appreciative words to be capable and supportive. For example: Say you interrupt someone at work. Rather than saying, “I’m sorry for taking up you time,” try, “I truly appreciate you taking the time to talk with me today.” If a colleague points out a mistake in your recent review, try saying, “Thank you for pointing that out. I really appreciate the input.”
Discuss the foreseeable future.
Having the drive to change is the best apology you can make. Your desires are stronger than a simple apology. Let your boss or friend know how you plan on fixing your mistake or altering your behavior—what steps are you taking to ensure it won’t happen again? Try saying something along the lines of: “In the future, I’ll be sure to contact every team member personally.” “Next time, I’ll make calling you my first priority.” “I’ll turn my phone off during class moving forward.”
Take action.
Actions truly speak louder than words. Rather than saying “I’m sorry,” correct your mistake by not doing it again. For instance, say you came into work late. Express to your colleagues that your tardiness won’t become a recurring theme, and then make sure it doesn’t by leaving home early every morning. You may be over apologizing because you doubt yourself, so turn that around! Be confident and authoritative in your choices in and outside of work. If you have the confidence to back up your actions, you won’t need to make unnecessary apologies.
Be empathetic.
Show remorse by reflecting on what others may feel. Sometimes, a simple “I’m sorry” can come across as insincere because it’s rooted in sympathy rather than empathy. If a friend or colleague confides in you about a difficult situation, rather than saying “I’m sorry” because you don’t know what else to say, be empathetic: “That sounds like it’s been really difficult.” “I can only imagine what you’ve been going through. Is there anything I can do to help?” “I’m here for you whenever you need anything.”
Ask for feedback.
Open the conversation for more critics. If you’re tired of apologizing at work, take the next critique as a sign to explore what you can do to improve. Not only is this a great way to apologize, but it also shows your boss that you’re willing to handle and accept criticism. “Is there anything else I can do moving forward to improve my work performance?” “On the topic of yesterday’s meeting, in the future, would you like me to ask questions directly or wait to message you after the meeting?” “How would you like me to turn in assignments moving forward?”
Commit to correcting mistakes.
An excellent way to apologize is not to be a repeat offender. Make a commitment to yourself, boss, and/or friend to correct what you’ve done wrong. This way, they’ll know you’ve learned from their critique without you having to admit any guilt. For example, if a friend has asked you not to show up at their house unannounced, send them a quick text and wait for a response before leaving your house from here on out. If your boss asks to have files on their desk at the end of each week, work diligently to have all the paperwork completed and turned in on time.
Reword a classic “I’m sorry” apology.
Saying “sorry” for every situation can get tiring. If you’re prone to apologizing for everything, try replacing the term “I’m sorry” with something more authoritative. For instance, say you have something you’d like to add or counter during a company meeting. Use language like this to politely interject and express your opinion without saying “sorry”: “I’d like to weigh in if that’s okay.” “Is now a good time for a question?” “Here’s a different perspective…”
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