How to Be Dependable

Changing Your Habits

Show up on time. If you’re supposed to be somewhere, aim to be there right on time. It is better to be early than late. If you know you might run into traffic or other obstacles, leave early to give yourself extra time. Being punctual is one of the best ways to show that you are dependable. Even being just a few minutes late can send the wrong message. Set alarms on your phone to wake you up in the morning or to remind you when you need to leave. If you know you need a lot of time in the morning to get ready, make sure that you wake up early enough to get it done.

Respond to emails and messages quickly. If you receive an email, phone call, text message, or letter, read it and respond to it within 24 hours. By doing so, you'll make sure that they get the proper response and that you don't forget to reply to important matters. If someone calls and you’re not available, try sending them an email or text message asking if you can call them back later. Set aside 30 minutes in the morning and afternoon to answer all of your emails. This will help you answer them if you are busy throughout the day.

Fix your mistakes in a timely manner. Occasionally making a mistake doesn’t mean that you are not reliable. Just make sure that you accept responsibility for all of your mistakes and offer to fix them as soon as possible. For example, if you promised to pick up groceries on the way home and forgot, you might offer to go back out and get them. If you made an error on a document at work, tell your boss that you will fix it right away.

Deliver good work every time. Whether you’re helping your friend assemble a TV stand or preparing a presentation at work, always do your best work. Go above and beyond if possible to show that you can perform good work consistently. For example, if you are helping someone put up pictures on their wall, take the time to measure out the space and to level out each frame. Don’t just put a nail in the wall and walk away.

Delegate tasks, when you need to. It’s hard to be dependable when you’ve taken on too many responsibilities for one person to handle. Don’t be afraid to ask friends, family, or coworkers for help when you’re feeling overwhelmed. For example, you might say to your spouse, “Can you pick up the kids from school today? I promised my boss I would get this report done by the end of the day, so I may need to work a little late.”

Be patient with yourself. Changing your habits takes time and commitment. In order to change your habits permanently, you will need to keep at it over a long period of time. Studies show that, on average, it takes 66 days of daily, persistent effort to change a habit. It’s likely that you’ll have setbacks along the way, and that’s ok—just try to identify what caused the setback, so that you can avoid it happening again.

Keeping Your Promises

Agree to do things that you know you can complete. When you first accept promises, only say yes if you are certain that you can, without a doubt, complete the task. If you are uncertain, ask the other person for more time to think about the request. Look over your schedule and other commitments. Check to make sure you have time to complete the task. Ask questions about the task so that you know what you are taking on. When must it be done by? How much time will it take? What exactly do you have to do? Don't give up another promise to complete a new one. For example, don't promise your coworker that you will fix their computer if it means you will miss your child’s baseball game. Avoid exaggerating about what you can do. For example, if your boss asks you to complete a report by the end of the week, don’t say “I can have it done in 2 days” if you need more time.

Learn to say no if you can’t accept the responsibility. Saying no does not make you unreliable. Instead, it shows that you understand the importance of the request. If you don’t have time, energy, or the resources to do something, it is okay to say you can’t do it. You don’t need to say “no” directly. You can use a softer rejection, such as “I don’t think I can do that” or “I can’t make that promise.” Don’t make false excuses to get out of something. Be honest about why you can’t do it. For example, instead of lying to your friend that you have an appointment the same day as their move, you can just say something like, “I’m sorry, but I can’t help.”

Write down your promises in a planner or schedule. If you’ve got a lot going on, it can be easy to simply forget or lose track of your promises and commitments. Once you have committed to something, write it down. Set aside time to complete it. Use the same planner, calendar, or app to keep track of all of your commitments, so that you have a realistic idea of what you need to do every day. For example, you might write, "Housesit for Maria next week" or "Deliver the cake to John on the 23rd." If you made a more abstract promise, such as to be more considerate or less disruptive, you might give yourself a daily reminder, such as "Tell Shona how much she means to me" or "Remember to be quiet when you get home tonight." Give yourself a timeline to complete the task. You might break up the task a little bit every day or write down the date it is due. If it is on a specific day, block off how much time you will need to prepare and get it done.

Set SMART goals for yourself. It’s easier to manage goals and commitments if you keep them SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound). Instead of committing to something vague and overwhelming (e.g., “I’m going to be more productive at work”), make a more specific promise that meets these criteria. For example, instead of setting a general productivity goal, you might say, “I’m going to finish these 2 major reports by the end of this week.”

Cancel in advance if necessary. Sometimes, things outside of our control prevent us from keeping our promises. In this case, it is best to give the other person as much time as possible to know. As soon as you know you can’t come through, contact the other person so that they can make other arrangements. Apologize and explain why you’re not able to do it. For example, you might say, “I know you needed me to run the bake sale table on Saturday, but my husband came down with a cold, and I don’t think I can do it. I am so sorry.” If possible, suggest someone else who might be able to help. For example, you might say, “I think Sally has a truck that will fit your couch. Do you want me to ask her if she can do it?” Try not to wait until the night before or day of to tell the other person, unless absolutely necessary.

Becoming Trustworthy

Depend on others. One of the best ways to show that you can be trusted is to trust other people. By asking them for help, they’ll understand that you trust them, and that can help them learn to trust you. For example, if you’re struggling with a computer error, don’t pretend that you know how to fix if you don’t. Ask your coworker for help. If you’re short on money for lunch, ask a friend to chip in and promise to pay them later. Just make sure to follow through and pay them back!

Build strong relationships with other people. Trust is a slow process. To develop trust over time, work on creating strong relationships with friends, colleagues, family members, and other loved ones. Be there for them when they need you, and celebrate their successes with them. Mark down birthdays, anniversaries, and other important dates in your calendar so that you don't forget them. Always remember to send a card or gift. Having strong relationships shows people that others trust you. It also demonstrates that you can develop long-term bonds and promises.

Reach your own goals. Consistency is an important way of expressing how reliable you are. Set a goal for yourself and achieve it. Work towards it every day. Completing it will show other people that you can come through on big projects and goals. For example, if your new year’s resolution is to become fitter, go to the gym 3-5 days a week. Take an exercise class or learn to lift weights. Keep at it until you reach your fitness goals. Others will admire you for your success. If you keep talking about climbing a mountain, start taking steps to get there. Join a rock climbing gym, train on smaller hikes, or take a vacation out to the mountains.

Tell the truth when asked. If someone asks you for your opinion or advice, give them the honest truth. If you lie and they find out, they may no longer ask you to help them or to give them feedback. Remember you can be both honest and polite. For example, if your friend asks you for constructive criticism on their novel, be honest and thorough. You can still be nice and compliment their work, but make sure that they get the feedback that they want. For example, you might say something like, "Your story is really compelling, and I enjoyed it! I noticed a few plot holes though that I wanted to ask you about."

Avoid gossiping or spreading rumors. If someone tells you something personal, private, or confidential, don’t spread it around. Gossiping can be a major breach of trust. If you do it, others may not confide in you as much anymore. For example, if your sister tells you that she is getting a divorce, don’t tell the rest of the family unless she says that it is okay. She may be waiting to tell other people for a reason.

Respect other people’s property. Other people will have an easier time trusting you if you are careful with their things. Always return borrowed items promptly and in good condition. If people know that they can trust you with their possessions, they will be more likely to let you borrow or use their things in the future. This also goes for money. If someone lends you money, do your best to pay them back as soon as possible or within the agreed-upon timeframe.