How to Be Determined

Defining Success and Setting Personal Goals

Complete the best possible future self exercise. It’s hard to be determined when you don’t know what you’re working towards or how to even recognize when you’ve gotten there. Figure out what success means to you and you’ll be better equipped to persevere towards your goals. The best possible future self exercise can help you do that. Spend about 15 minutes writing in great detail about what you’d like your future life to be like (1, 5, or 10 years into the future). Consider various areas of life, such as your career, relationship, health, passions, etc. What would each of these areas be like in your best possible future? Try not to filter yourself or allow negative, competing thoughts to affect what you write. It doesn’t matter if this future seems improbable now—just write about it creatively as if it could happen.

Create a few specific goals. Develop clear goals geared towards reaching the success you imagined in the best possible future self exercise. Start with just a few that address different areas of your life. Get as specific as you can with your goals. For instance, you wouldn’t say “I want more money” and leave it at that. You might set a specific goal to complete a certification course so that you will be eligible for a managerial position at your job. Similarly, you wouldn’t say “I want to go to Hawaii.” You might set a clear goal to save $10,000 for a family vacation in Hawaii. You might create separate goals for different areas, including finances, health, career, relationship, and personal development. However, different goals may overlap. In the above example, being more specific about the financial goal (“I want more money”) uncovered a career goal. Focusing on a few goals at a time will help you stay focused and determined. If you focus on too much at once, you'll get overwhelmed, which will make determination harder to maintain.

Break your goals down. After you’ve clarified a few specific goals, divide these goals down into smaller, more manageable steps. You’ll feel more determined to stick with your goals, if you know what’s expected along the way. For example, if you set a goal to publish a novel, smaller steps may include writing the book itself (which also must be broken down into various steps), editing it, learning about the publishing industry, figuring out which literary agents to send it to, writing a synopsis and cover letter, and sending it off to the different agents and publishers. You might divide it up so that you're focused on one step at a time. Then, each individual step may take some evaluating to determine if you have the resources to accomplish it. For instance, professional editing may be costly and require that you save money first. For example, if your goal is to publish a book, focus on outlining the book first, then drafting the book before you think about the publication process.

Set challenging deadlines. Creating a time-frame to accomplish your goals is a powerful way to stay determined. Set a far out date for the overall goal (e.g., “Save $10,000”) as well as creating shorter time-frames for the individual steps required to reach that goal. For instance, you might give yourself a year to save the money. However, after breaking the goal down, you might aim to save $2,500 within the next three months. Your deadlines should be feasible yet challenging. If you allow too much time to reach the goal, there’s a greater chance of you losing focus.

Prioritize your goals. If you truly want to remain steadfast in reaching your goals, you must be willing to put them before other less important aspects of life. This doesn’t mean you’ll be working 24 hours a day towards your goals, but it does mean you should always carve out time for them. Prioritizing means instead of just making a vague commitment to work on your novel each day, you will set aside a specific window of time. Say, "I'm going to write from 6:00 am to 8:00 am every morning." You have put your goal first, which means no matter what happens from 8am onward, you will have dedicated some time towards working on your goal that day.

Look for gaps that prevent goal-attainment. Regularly review your future self and look for discrepancies based on your current life. What habits or behaviors are getting in the way of you becoming that future self? These gaps are where you’ll want to focus in your goal-setting. For example, if you’d like to save $10,000, but you eat out every day, you will need to change your spending habits to save the money. You might save more, faster by limiting restaurant meals and cooking at home.

Building Good Habits

Eliminate negative thinking. This is a hugely important part of being determined and achieving your goals. Negative thinking will lower your resolve and even cause you to give up on your goals. Positivity, on the other hand, allows you to persevere. Learn to identify the negative language you use on yourself and situations. For example, if you find yourself thinking "I'm so weak I can't even do one push-up," change that thought. Instead, think more positively by reframing that thought to something like, "I have trouble doing push-ups now, but if I stick with my routine, I will gradually be able to do them."

Play to your strengths. Often, when you get feedback or work on improving yourself, you focus on the things that need to be improved. This is a good strategy, but you should also figure out your strengths and use those to help you stay determined to achieve your goals. Have friends/coworkers/family/teachers give you examples of times when you excelled (when you used your strengths). Recognize common themes throughout the examples that portray your character strengths. For example, if people choose examples of times when you were really resourceful, you might leverage your resourcefulness to help you reach your goals (e.g., researching the best savings account interest rates to help you save the $10,000).

Build your self-confidence. Confidence is the ability to believe in yourself, no matter how bad things are looking. Self-confident people experience a hurdle and believe that they can overcome it. This, in a nutshell, is determination. Determination is seeing a roadblock and believing that you can get past it, not necessarily because you have evidence that you've done so in the past, but because you believe in your abilities. To portray confidence on the outside, walk tall, lift your chin and stand in a power pose (hands on hips). The more you practice acting self-confident, the more you'll trick your brain into believing that you are. To feel confident on the inside, stop comparing yourself to other people. Comparisons zap your self-esteem. Drop the comparisons by wearing a rubber band on your wrist and snapping it against your skin each time you catch yourself comparing.

Practice flexibility. Flexibility is the art of being open to change. Just as a person doing yoga bends without breaking, neither should you in the face of challenges. The course you’re currently traveling will likely diverge at some point. Your goals may change and the methods you use to reach them will, too. One of the best ways to stay flexible is by trying new things. Getting outside of your comfort zone helps keep you flexible, so make a list of activities or experiences you haven’t tried and start ticking them off. Switching up your routine also builds flexibility. Instead of driving home from work or school, take the bus or ride your bike. Also, take a completely new route, or do something spontaneous, such as stopping for an ice cream cone or browsing a few shops.

Make healthy choices. It’s much easier to be determined about your goals when your body is sustained by good fuel, enough sleep, and a good amount of exercise. All these things can help fend off issues like stress and anxiety that make it much harder to maintain determination. Try to get at least 8 hours of sleep each night, with as many of those hours before midnight as possible. To help your body get into sleep mode more quickly, turn off your electronic devices (like computer, phone, iPad) at least 30 minutes before you go to bed. Eat lots of veggies and fruits (especially the dark green and colorful ones, which have more nutrients). Avoid eating lots of sugars and salty or processed foods, which can make you feel sluggish or depressed. Go for good carbohydrates like brown rice, oatmeal, and sprouted wheat. Get enough protein by choosing eggs, fish, lean meats, etc. Exercise for 30 minutes every day. Exercising releases good chemicals like endorphins, which can give you more energy and make you feel happier. Exercise can be anything from putting on a music playlist and having a dance party to going for a long run.

Maintaining Your Determination

Learn from obstacles. People who use their determination do not use the term "failure." Obstacles will appear on your path no matter how prepared you are. In most cases, obstacles and "failures" are actually opportunities. Re-frame the problem by considering the “why?” For example, if you're asked to build a bridge across a river and you ask why you need to build a bridge, questioning why a bridge can help open up further possibilities (why do you need to cross the river? what kind of materials are available, etc.). Asking these questions will open up a realm of possibilities. Another method is to ask yourself what you've learned from a supposed "failure." What would you do differently next time? What factors combined to cause the "failure" to happen? Was failing really as bad as you feared?

Find creative solutions. Thinking outside the box will greatly help you stay on track and accomplish your goals. This is especially important when you do hit an obstacle, because creative solutions can often provide you with an avenue that you might not otherwise have considered. Daydreaming is actually an incredibly useful tool. When you're confronted with a problem, take some time to daydream and let your mind free to consider the problem without restrictions. A good time to practice a little daydreaming is right before you go to bed at night, but you can do it any time. Ask yourself some questions to open up your creative problem-solving: if you have any resources in the world, how would you approach the problem? If there were no possibility of failure, what would you try? If you didn't have to worry about budget, what resources would you use? If you could ask anyone for help, who would you ask?

Use visualization. Although it sounds a bit weird, visualization is actually a really powerful technique for boosting your determination. Practice visualizing yourself accomplishing the goals that you are working towards. The more clearly you visualize your goals (with images, sounds, smells, and specific details) the more likely you are to actually accomplish them. For instance, to visualize a promotion on your job, you might imagine seeing a larger office space, hearing "congratulations" from your co-workers and supervisors, and having more money to take your family on vacation.

Create a vision board. A vision board is a tangible way to envision your goals. By assembling a variety of images and knick-knacks that bring life to your goals, you can look at them regularly and regain determination to keep moving forward. Look through magazines, newspapers, and the internet to find images, words, and inspirational items that speak to you. Make sure you include items that represent goals from different areas of your life, such as health, relationships, and career. After assembling your board, place it somewhere you can see it regularly. Looking through the items you place on your board is like a mini visualization session!

Reward yourself. Celebrate your progress by periodically rewarding yourself. Rewards don’t have to be big or ostentatious—unless you want them to! The point is to take time to pat yourself on the back for steadily moving towards your goals. For example, each time you complete a smaller step towards a big goal, you might treat yourself to a movie night or lunch at your favorite restaurant. Rewarding yourself keeps you on the desired path and sustains your determination to reach your goals. However, your reward shouldn't set you back on goal progress. If you're trying to lose weight, you probably shouldn't reward yourself with food. If you're saving money, you probably shouldn't reward yourself by spending a large portion of your savings (unless the purchase is a part of the goal). Keep track of the progress you are making as you work towards your goals as well. This may help you to stay motivated.

Take breaks to re-energize. Sometimes you may notice yourself losing the determination you once had to reach your goals. If this happens, don’t trash your goals, just take a break! Taking a break doesn't mean that you are no longer determined, it simply means that you're giving yourself the chance to rest and return with more energy to work hard towards your goals. A break can be big or small, depending on your current state of mind. If working towards your goals has caused a great deal of frustration or stress, it may be nice to take a weekend off to relax or even plan a mini getaway. For a smaller, shorter break, take an afternoon off to hang out with a friend or pursue a favorite hobby.