How to Change an RSVP from Yes to No

Updating an RSVP for an Evite

Navigate to the evite and click “View invitation.” Open up your email and find the evite that the host sent you. Click on “View invitation” to see the event details and RSVP list.

Click “Change Reply” or something similar next to your “Yes” RSVP. The tab could also be phrased as “Change your Response” or something similar. If you don’t notice these words on the invitation page, see if there’s an RSVP tab and click on this. The RSVP tab will likely give you the option to alter your own response. For example, the invitation might say, “You replied Yes,” and you would click on this to change it.

Select “No” instead of “Yes” and save your response. Check that you’ve clicked “No” and that the “Yes” is no longer selected. Before you exit out of the invitation, make sure you click “Update Reply” or something similar so that your new RSVP actually saves. Otherwise, it might switch back to saying that you’re attending the event once you exit the invitation. Once you save your response, the evite will update with your most recent RSVP.

Add a note to the host explaining the change, if you’d like. This is a polite thing to do, especially if you’re changing your RSVP at the last minute. Give a quick explanation about why you had to say “No” instead of “Yes” and briefly apologize for any inconvenience this might cause the host. For instance, say, “My son has the flu so we can’t come anymore, I’m so sorry! Thanks for the invite, wish we could be there.”

Correcting a Mailed RSVP

Call the host as soon as possible. If you mailed back your RSVP to the host but later realized that you can’t attend the event anymore, it’s not necessary to send your changed response through the mail. Instead, call the host and let them know that you can no longer make it. It’s also okay to email the host if you don’t have their phone number. You might say something like, “I know I sent in my RSVP that I could attend the wedding, but I didn’t realize that I have a surgery scheduled for that weekend so I can’t come. I’m so sorry!”

Update your response before the reply-by date, if possible. Your original invitation that you received in the mail likely had a date that the host wanted your RSVP by. Try to contact the host with your changed RSVP before this date to give them as much notice as possible. If you have to contact them after the deadline already passed, that’s okay, just be sure to apologize for the inconvenience. You might say, "I wanted to let you know before the RSVP date that I can't attend the seminar anymore because of a work trip, I'm sorry!"

Avoid changing your RSVP for superficial reasons. Changing your RSVP from a yes to a no is considered a little rude, so make sure you’re doing it for a good reason. This could be a work matter, illness, family emergency, or financial reasons. If you feel comfortable with it, let the host know why you won’t be coming. If it’s for a legitimate reason, they’ll likely understand. Changing your RSVP because you want to go on a trip or visit a friend isn’t a good reason. For example, you might tell the host, "I'm so sorry I can't come, we just don't have the funds right now to travel to the wedding," or "My sister just had her baby, so I won't be able to drop by the picnic anymore, so sorry!"