How to Convince Your Parents to Let You Have a Party

Getting Ready to Ask Them

Be well behaved. The weeks leading up to asking your parents for a party, be well behaved. Pay attention in school and do your homework. Help out around the house and do your chores. Spend time with your parents and don’t argue or whine or fight with them or your siblings. Your parents will be more likely to want to give you what you want if they feel like you deserve it.

Make a basic plan. Before you ask your parents if you can have a party, create a basic plan for your party. Have a general idea of when you want it, what you want to have it for, and who you want to invite. It will be easier to ask your parents if you know what you want. Simply asking for a party is vague and will probably lead to an immediate no. Make a list of who you want to invite. This could be your closest friends or more people you know from school or other activities. Look at your calendar and write down possible days you want to have the party. Try to pick a date you know your parents don't have anything scheduled for. Think about where you want to have the party (such as at home, at a swimming pool, or at a roller skate rink).

Calculate the probable cost. Figure out the estimated cost of the party if you can. Think about how much food and décor and anything else you will probably need costs. Once you get a general idea of the cost, think about how much you can contribute to the cost and what things you can cut back on to make the party cost less. If you do the math ahead of time and have a plan to help pay, your parents will be more likely to say yes. For example, you might want 30 dollars for pizza, 40 dollars for decorations, and 10 dollars for invitations. Think about where you might have to cut the budget (such as buying frozen pizza instead of restaurant pizza, buying less decorations, or making your own invitations). Figure out how much money you can contribute if needed. If you have a part-time job, start setting aside money for the party about a month in advance so you can contribute to paying for the event.

Asking Your Parents

Find a good time to ask them. It is important that you don’t ask your parents for a party at a bad time. Don’t ask them too early or late in the day or when they are busy or distracted. Ask your parents for a moment of their time when they don’t seem too busy and seem like they have time to talk. Try saying something like, “Mom and Dad, do you have a minute to talk?”

Come up with good reasons for the party. Your parents might not want to give you a party for no reason, but they might want to give you a party if they have a good reason to. You might want the party for your birthday and have not had a birthday party in a while. The party might be so you can get closer to new friends or get out of your shell. For example, “I have made new friends at school this year and I think having a Halloween party would help bring us closer together. Would it be possible for me to please have a party on Halloween?”

Stay calm and be polite. When you ask them, be calm. Don’t cry, whine, or scream. Keep your tone calm and your behavior polite. It is a lot harder to say no to someone who is being respectful and friendly when they ask than someone screaming and crying. Say something like, “Is there any way I can please have a party for my birthday this year? It has been so long since I have had one. I would really appreciate it.”

Offer to help pay. When you ask your parents for the party, offer to pay for some of the costs. Your parents might want you to have a party, but are just not able to afford it. Point out the general cost of how much you think it will be and offer to pay for some of the costs. They might just appreciate you acknowledging that the party costs money and not make you pay for any of the party. Say something like, “I calculated it and I think the party will cost around 50 dollars. If I pay the 25 dollars that I have from babysitting, can you pay for the rest so I can have a party?”

Having a Parent Approved Party

Invite your parents to chaperone. If you parents are nervous about you having a party, invite them to be at the party. They will probably feel a lot more comfortable about a party that they can oversee. If you are old enough where alcohol and drugs is a concern, offer to make sure to tell your friends that there will be no drugs or alcohol at the party. Say something like, “You guys can chaperone the party so you feel more comfortable and to make sure everyone is being safe.”

Allow your parents to be involved in the planning. Letting your parents be involved in the planning of the party will make them feel more comfortable about it. Let them help plan food and decorations so they know what to expect for the party. Let them help you decide where you should have the party. Go shopping with your parents for food and decorations. Let them help you make the invitations or Facebook event for the party.

Discuss the guest list with them. Tell them who and how many people you want to invite. If they are uncomfortable with the guest list, try to come to a compromise. If you want to have a boy-girl party, but they won’t allow it, you can try to convince them to change their mind. Try saying something like, “I have friends who are boys and girls. I want to be able to invite boys so that I can spend time with all my friends on my birthday.” Offer for them to meet guests beforehand so they feel more comfortable.

Clean up after the party. When the party is over make sure to clean it up. If you leave a mess, your parents are not likely going to let you have any more parties in the future. Make sure your house is spotless after the party is over so it looks like there was never a party.

Talk to and thank your parents after the party. When the party is over thank them for letting you have it. Take responsibility for anything that went wrong and let them know that it will not happen again. This will let them know that you are interested in keeping any future parties to their expectations. For example, “Thank you so much for letting me have this party. I am very sorry that Kyle spilled soda on the carpet. Next time I will make sure everyone is more careful.”