Understanding the Wealthy Man
Discover where they live. The wealthy in general are concentrated on the coasts. California, Florida and the northeast are particularly popular spots. Rich, single men are a bit more scattered, and there are a few surprises. According to a study done by a market research firm, these are the top 10 cities in which to find them: 1) the San Francisco Bay area, 2) Anchorage, AK, 3) Washington, D.C./Baltimore, MD, 4) Sheboygan, WI, 5) Naples, FL, 6) Minneapolis/St.Paul, MN, 7) Rochester, MN, 8) Boston, MA, 9) Fort Walton Beach, FL and 10) Dallas, TX.
Learn what they want in a woman. Not all men are the same, obviously, but there are some generalities. They gravitate toward fit, attractive women who are well dressed. They have a tendency to feel entitled (there’s that word again) to “arm candy” or a woman who can plan social schedules, play hostess and the like. Yet when surveyed, roughly 90% of men who are high-achieving and considered either successful or highly successful want a woman with a brain and who is also successful. Some say, in fact, there’s been a significant shift toward brains over beauty. Research shows that when men occupy a higher social standing than women, they tend to choose young and beautiful women as partners. When they are more equal in social standing, intelligence, kindness and a good sense of humor rise to the top. Either way, they can also see a gold-digger a mile away, some say; it’s not in their nature to be gullible. If it were, many wouldn’t be where they are in life. Additionally, according to one study, 75% of wealthy men also have sex more frequently and have more sexual partners than men with less money.
Watch their number grow. While wealth is a relative concept, many associate it with being a “millionaire.” Knowing the precise number of single millionaire men in the U.S., or the world for that matter, isn’t a figure easily determined. What is clear, however, is that the overall number of millionaires is rising. In fact, 1 out of every 13 households (all kinds) in the U.S. has at least $1 million in assets. One out of every 100 has at least $25 million in assets. How are they making their money? In a variety of ways. Extremely wealthy men are often in business, working at hedge funds and in other areas of finance and investing. A growing number of men are making extreme amounts of money as tech and web entrepreneurs. And real estate; media, sports and entertainment; oil and gas; and other business ventures continue to be lucrative and popular areas. There are also a large number of men making very good money in medicine, dentistry, the law, engineering, and, one mustn’t forget, in corner offices serving as CEOs.
Take a closer look at who they are. In general, they work close to 60- to 80-hour weeks and are often self-made, wealthy men. They did well in school, took calculated risks, and have a long-term plan. They’re also high energy, visionary and extremely confident. Many live surprisingly modestly, are generally upbeat and recognize they’re not the smartest person in the room, at least not on every issue, so they surround themselves with people who can help them fill in the gaps, and to fulfill their vision. Yet their confidence frequently bleeds into narcissistic behavior, and they often lack empathy for others. Feeling a sense of entitlement isn’t foreign to them either.
Adjusting Your Life to Meet Them
Move close to where they live. While you may not be able to afford the most exclusive neighborhoods or buildings, you can find something not terribly far from where the real money resides. Get as close as you can. Or settle for a shoe in the box, right in the middle. In doing so, you’ll be running errands, walking your dog, jogging, drinking your coffee, etc., in the same areas. In doing so, you’re absorbing the culture and meeting people. This provides opportunities to become more relaxed amongst the rich and to be noticed at no (more) additional cost to you. If you can’t afford to move, simply start getting your groceries in upscale neighborhoods. Drive your car to the high-end park for your morning jog and so forth.
Look the part. If you want to be rich, you need to look rich. If you don’t look and act the part, you likely won’t close the deal. You want your look to be sexy but not so much that it crosses the line into looking sleazy. Sexy but sophisticated is the way to go, investing in only a few classic pieces that can be worn with a variety of other things. Look for them at consignment shops and online at websites like eBay. Also invest in 1-2, second-hand and versatile designer handbags. Accessories such as jewelry are also important, but they don't have to be expensive. Just make sure that they're clean, simple, and well-made. Know the dress code of any event you attend and make sure you adhere to it. If you’re not sure, it’s always best to be a bit overdressed than underdressed. Avoid over-tanning, wearing too much makeup, and coloring your hair in ways that looks unnatural as it’s not generally a classy look. Pick out some nice-looking shoes, too! A good pair of shoes can make a simple outfit look great. They don't have to be expensive—they just need to look nice and well-cared for.
Talk their talk. Even if you may not have been educated in finance or political theory, you need to be well versed in the things rich men discuss. Since they are often big players in business and politics, gain knowledge in these areas through reading newspapers daily – particularly the New York Times and The Wall Street Journal – in addition to local political and business publications. When you’re unfamiliar with terms, concepts and historical contexts, look them up online. Being able to hold an intelligent conversation will help you stand out from others, and there will be many others. Also spend time learning about the things the rich enjoy, such as horse racing, sailing, the arts, fine jewelry, various cuisines, luxury cars, etc.
Act like money doesn’t matter. The surest way to be dismissed as a gold-digger is to start asking him questions about the size of his bank account(s).The second surest way is to ask how much something he owns cost. The third surest way is to ask how much something he buys you cost. Avoid these topics … as you would with anyone else. Additionally, be very careful when asking around about how much a man is worth as your snooping could very easily make its way back to him.
Meeting Them on Their Turf
Work in the right industries or professions. Considering they work 60-to-80 hour weeks, one way to meet them is to work with them, near them or for them. If you have an M.B.A all the better as this will qualify you for jobs in many of the industries in which they work. Alternatively, consider areas in which they spend their money, such as the sale of art; antiques; luxury cars, jets, homes and yachts. Also think of areas such as interior design, personal training, architecture, nursing, jobs at charitable organizations, and those at country clubs and so forth that will expose you to a large pool of wealthy men. Stay away from jobs, however, in which you will wear a uniform as it can create a psychological barrier between you and the rich men you want to meet.
Attend charity events. Charity balls, silent auctions, golf tournaments, polo matches, and anything involving a cultural or medical institution are excellent places to meet rich men. Often the less familiar the cause the richer the donors as the filthy rich often take pride in supporting charities few have heard of. Now, because you often either have to be invited to these events or because tickets can cost over a thousand dollars, the way to get in is to volunteer, particularly in fundraising. This provides you a sneak peek at the guest list, an invitation and the chance to meet people. To find out about these events, search for charities online in your city or in cities nearby. To learn the largest donors to various causes, look at the Chronicle of Philanthropy.
Go to the right sporting events. Men love sports. Rich men particularly love golf, polo, horse racing, sailing, skiing and tennis. Learn how these sports are played. Familiarize yourself with the best players, the most prestigious events and locations, and the current news in the sports. Also consider joining your local racquet club and learn to play tennis, get lessons in golfing, take boating lessons and so forth not only for exposure to the rich but also to show you know how to do the kinds of things the rich do.
Hang out at upscale bars, lounges and restaurants. When rich men decide to dine, go out for a night on the town or travel, they expect the best so will only go to the finest establishments. That’s where you’ll want to be. Posh hotel bars and the bars of 4-star steakhouses, where they’ll have a drink before eating, are excellent places to position yourself. For the more shy rich man, look for the swanky lounge in exclusive neighborhoods. Don’t go with a gaggle of girlfriends and never with another male; instead, go with one or two of your friends instead.
Go to gallery openings. Rich men buy homes, as in plural, which require art to adorn the walls. This, along with social invitations they naturally receive in this area, means they attend many art exhibits, openings and auctions. Start by attending free openings (after you’ve read up about art history) and then move on to becoming a member of museums (it’s not very expensive and gives you access to a variety of events).
Volunteer at strategic places. Just as with charity events, volunteers are needed at many places like hospitals, political and socially oriented nonprofit organizations, museums and the like that will potentially put you into direct contact with wealthy men. Don’t, for instance, underestimate the wealth of physicians in the United States. Specialists in areas like urology, gastroenterology, invasive cardiology and surgical orthopedics make about $400,000-500,000/year on average. Hospital administrators can make over a million per year.
Join a wealthy dating website or app, or hire a professional. There are several websites that claim to help the wealthy find mates, or the non-wealthy find rich mates. The top ones are MillionaireMatch.com, SeekingMillionaires.com, Onluxy.com and SugarDaddie.com (though this one is a bit suspect and should be regarded as such). There are also a number of “millionaire matchmakers” whom you can hire to set you up with the wealthy. There’s no guarantee you’ll be accepted by the matchmaker, so work toward having everything else in place first to increase your success rate before going this route.
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