Making Your Parents Proud
Succeed in school. Parents are often proud of their kids for doing well in school. If you make school a priority and work hard at it, then your parents will probably admire your hard work and dedication. Some things you can do to improve your performance in school include: Taking notes in class. Listening carefully to instructions. Doing all of your homework and reading assignments. Studying for tests and quizzes.
Put some extra time and effort into your extracurricular activities. They might seem unimportant compared to your classes, but what you do outside of school is important too. Put time and effort into your activities and your parents will be proud of your dedication. For example, you can practice your free throws until you can finally make the winning shot for the school basketball team, or practice your clarinet solo enough to help your band win a state competition.
Get an after school job. This is a great way to make extra cash and show your parents how hard working you are. Even if you can only work a few hours a week at the local sandwich shop, getting an after school job will be beneficial to you and your parents may admire you for it. Try to do as many of the steps to get a job (the resume, application, and the interview) without your parents’ help, but ask them questions and for advice if you need to.
Develop your career goals. Although you are only a teenager, it is important to start thinking about your career early. Even if you change your mind, your parents will be proud that you are already considering your future. Start thinking about what you want to do and how you want to get there and discuss it with your mom and dad. For example, you might set a goal of becoming a lawyer, an accountant, a teacher, or an entrepreneur. Think about what your dream job would be and start working towards it. Try to choose a career path that feels right for you. Don’t feel pressured to follow a career path just to impress your parents.
Learn to deal with disappointment. Having resilience to bad times is an important skill that will make your parents proud and impressed. If you can handle your own problems that life throws at you without needing your parents, they will be very proud. For example, if you did not do well on your English test, don’t go crying to your parents about it. Work extra hard to ace the next one. One way to deal with disappointments is to treat then as learning experiences. For example, if you fail a test, then what can you learn from the experience to help you do better on the next test? Perhaps you can start studying earlier, talk with your teacher about the questions that you answered incorrectly, or join an after school study group.
Be smart with your money. Your parents are not going to be impressed if you recklessly spend your money. Teenagers should know how to manage their own money before they leave for college. If you have to keep asking your parents for money because you keep running out of your own money, then they won’t be impressed. Your parents are going to be proud of you if you can handle your own money and expenses. Try to create a budget for yourself to manage the money that you have or earn each week. For example, if you get $20 per week, consider what portion if it you have to spend, such as for gas or to buy lunch. Then, decide what purchases are extras, such as buying a soda after school every day. Pledge to save this money instead of spending it.
Help your parents. They might not always want to ask for help or they might constantly nag you about it, but put in an effort to make their lives easier. They may feel uncomfortable asking you to help them, but they will appreciate it and be proud of your knowledge. For example, you can do extra chores around the house to help out your parents. They will probably appreciate this after a long day at work. You can also look for everyday situations to help out. For example, if you see your mom having trouble setting up the new Wi-Fi router or your dad struggling to record the football game, then offer to help them.
Take care of your responsibilities on your own. Taking the initiative and doing things without being asked may also impress your parents. Try to start doing more things for yourself so that your parents will not have to ask you. Clean up after yourself and keep your room clean. For example, you can do your own laundry, clean up a mess you made in the kitchen, and make your bed every morning. Your parents will be proud that you can take care of yourself. Take care of your own tasks instead of asking your parents to do things for you that you can easily do yourself. For example, you could sign up for the SAT’s on your own or study for your chemistry test without them reminding you.
Acknowledge everything that they have done for you. Be thankful that you have a roof over your head and food in the cupboards because of their hard work. Be grateful for the hard work they put in to raise you and give you the best life they were able to. They will be impressed and happy to know that you have noticed their efforts to be good parents. Just saying something as simple as, “Mom, I just wanted you to know I really appreciate everything you have done for me,” will go a long way.
Build pride in yourself. As you get older, it is important to start building pride in yourself and to rely less on other people for validation. If you are proud of who you are and what you have accomplished, then the opinions of your parents and other people will not matter. Some things you can do build self-pride include: Reflecting on things you have done that have made you feel proud. This can be something small, like finishing a long book or something big like winning an award. Try making a list of all of the things that make you feel proud of yourself. Making a list of your strengths, special skills, and talents. Try writing down everything that you are good at, such as playing soccer, writing, painting, playing the trombone, dancing, etc. You can also include special skills and talents on this list, such as being outgoing, knowing how to build a webpage, or being good at math. Praising yourself when you think you deserve it. For example, you might start telling yourself “good job!” whenever you finish a project or do something that you think is praiseworthy. This can be something as simple as completing your homework for the evening or as big as getting the highest score in your class on a test. Be sure to praise yourself for your accomplishments.
Improving Your Relationship
Tell your parents that validation is important to you. It can be frustrating if your mom and/or dad never says things like, “Good job!” or “I am proud of you!” However, your parent might not be aware that you are frustrated by this. You may be able to change this by talking to them about it. Try saying something like, “I know that you are proud of me, but I really need to hear you say it sometimes. Can you please start to tell me when you are proud of me or tell me when I am doing a good job?”
Recognize your power to influence your relationship. You are no longer a little kid, your relationship with your parents is a lot more of a two-way street now that you are a teenager. Your parents will be impressed and happy if you try to have a good relationship with them. You might be tired of living with your parents and having to listen to their rules, but they are always going to be there for you so you should try to be on good terms with them. Try telling your parents that you value your relationship with them and you want to improve it. For example, you might say something like, “I know we have not gotten along as well lately, and that bothers me. I really want to have a good relationship with you.”
Start your relationship over with a clean slate. You have known your parents your entire life, so there is bound to be a lot of built up anger. Try to start over with them. Don’t hold a grudge because of the one time when you were five your mom accidentally left you at the grocery store or when your dad overreacted when he caught you skipping school. It is time for fresh starts and a new beginning with your parents. One way to start over with your parents is to write a letter to them that you do not send. In the letter, you might express all of the things that you are angry with them about. Then, at the end of the letter, tell them that you want to have a fresh start and that you forgive them for these things.
Work out conflicts with your parents. Sometimes it can be easy to get mad at your parents. You feel like you are too old to listen to them anymore and like they don’t respect you. Living with them can get tiring and as you get older you start discovering you disagree on certain aspect of life. In order to improve your relationship with your parents you need to work out conflicts with them respectfully. Be willing to listen to their point of view. It might be hard not to get caught up in your own side of the issue, but pay attention to what they have to say too. Stay calm when you are disagreeing. Don’t start screaming at your mom that you hate her because she is trying to tell you how to dress. Calmly say, “Mom when you try to tell me how to dress it makes me feel like you don’t trust my judgement.” Know that you don’t always have to be right in arguments. Think about how important what you are arguing about actually is. If it is not a big deal, let them be right sometimes.
Have activities and interests together. Your parents are going to be very impressed if you put in the effort to do things with them. If you both love Thai food, make it a weekly date or go bowling together twice a month to bond and improve your relationship. If you suggest doing something together your parents will be very happy that you want to spend time with them. Be the one to suggest doing activities together: “Dad, the new Star Wars movie is out. Do you want to see it with me?” or “Mom, we should get brunch together tomorrow like we used to do when I was little.”
Respecting Your Parents
Listen to their rules. You may not agree with them but your parents will be impressed if you listen to and respect their rules. If there is something you really don’t agree with calmly discuss a compromise but otherwise listen to them. If you respect their rules they might even start making them less strict. No matter how tempting it might be don’t sneak out passed your curfew or invite your girlfriend or boyfriend over in the middle of the night, don’t do it. This shows you don’t respect your parents or their rules and they won’t be impressed.
Ask your parents for help. If you are struggling with something turn to your parents for guidance. This shows them that you respect their knowledge and capabilities. They will be impressed that you are able and willing to ask for help when you need it and flattered that you thought of them for help. Even though it might be hard to swallow your pride and ask, it is as simple as: “Mom, I am struggling with my history homework can you help me?” or “I want to break up with my boyfriend, but I don’t know how to.”
Take interest in their interests. No matter how much you might think golf is the most boring sport in the world, if your dad loves golf, ask him about it or even go with him sometimes. Ask your mom how her job is going and about the latest book she is reading. Showing your parents that you care about what they care about shows that you respect them and they will be impressed.
Accept your parents for who they are. No matter what their view points or weird quirky behaviors are, love them for who they are. Don’t try to change them. You can’t control somebody else. The only thing you can control is yourself, so if you want better interactions with them change your behavior and hope they reciprocate. Try to get passed some differences that might be due to a generation gap. Try explaining to them the importance of generational things in your life (like why you constantly need to be on Snapchat). If they don't understand still, respect that you come from different backgrounds.
Listen to them when they talk. It might be tempting to zone out when your parents are going on about something you could care less about, but take the time to listen to what they have to say. If you care about their lives and the things they tell you, they will be impressed. Put away your cell phone when you are talking with your parents. Make eye contact and nod to show you are listening. Ask them follow up questions to show you are interested.
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