Putting on a Pale Base
Start with a naked face. Skip the usual enhancements, like eyeliner, eye shadow, lipstick, and mascara. Leaving them off will give you a blank canvas to work with. From there, you’ll be able to stage each part of your face individually. Wash and exfoliate your face before you begin so it will take the cosmetics better. A makeup-free base is also more believable, since most people don’t bother with makeup when they’re feeling unwell.
Apply a foundation 2-3 shades lighter than your natural skin tone. Dab the foundation onto your cheeks, chin, and forehead. Then, blend it thoroughly so it isn’t too obvious. When you’re done, you’ll look like all the color has drained out of your face. If you’re unsure which foundation will look best, start with a shade closer to your skin tone and lighten up from there. Going too light at once may not be convincing.
Contour your cheeks for a gaunt appearance. Dust a contouring brush with purple or maroon eye shadow and sweep the bristles along the length of your cheekbones from your earlobes to the corners of your mouth. Blend with a separate brush until only there's only a faint trace of the color remaining. This drawn, sickly effect will be enough to suggest that you've dropped weight. If the shadow on your cheeks isn't quite gloomy enough on its own, try hitting other areas where color will show up well, like your temples and laugh lines. Switch to a darker shade of eye shadow to broadcast that you're on your deathbed.
Use blush to feign a fever. For best results, pick out a subtle pink or magenta shade. Pat it onto the points of your cheeks and the center of your forehead and blend in every direction. Apply the blush lightly at first and add more little by little to hint at a temperature. Go easy on the blush. You want to look like a sick person, not a china doll.
Altering Your Eyes
Draw dark circles under your eyes. Scoop up a small amount of reddish-brown or reddish-purple cream blush on your fingertip and underline each eye from one corner to the other. Blend the color downward until it fades into the skin just above your cheekbones. Instant tired eyes! Keep the blush confined to your lower eyelid. If you blend it any lower, it may start to look fishy. You could also use a brow or eyeliner pencil, though this might be tougher to smudge properly.
Rim your eyes with red cream blush or lipstick. Place a small dot at the outer corners of both eyes. Use the tip of your finger or a cotton swab to smudge the makeup around the edges and up under the lids. Red, swollen eyes are a clear sign that you've been crying, sneezing uncontrollably, or suffering from a lack of sleep. Avoid blending the blush or lipstick into the product you used to draw on your eye circles. Too much color in the same area may come off looking raccoon-like and unnatural.
Leave your bottom eyelid exposed to create the effect of eye bags. Rather than filling in your entire lid, leave about half an inch exposed just beneath your lower lashes. The uncovered skin will look puffy and swollen as a result. Make sure you’ve contoured your eyes carefully with the cream blush or brow pencil. Otherwise, your eye bags won’t look very real.
Use eye drops for a bloodshot stare. Squeeze 1-2 drops of regular saline into each eye and blink a few times. This is a harmless way to temporarily puff up your eyes like you’ve been dealing with wicked allergies. Be careful not to use so much that you get teary. All that hard work will have been for nothing if your eye makeup runs.
Adding Realistic Touches to Your Nose and Lips
Show off a raw, runny nose with red lipstick. Paint the lipstick onto the tip of your nose and around both nostrils and spread it outward with the pad of your finger. Work a little into the creases around the edges, as well. Blend thoroughly and wipe off the excess where it begins to creep higher up on your nose or onto your cheeks. Stay away from shades that are too dark or too red. These scream “circus clown” more than they do “patient zero.” Carry a box of tissues around with you to complete the illusion.
Apply streaks of glycerin to simulate snot. Use a cotton swab to brush the glycerin under the openings of your nostrils. The clear liquid can pull double duty when dabbed around your brow and hairline like beads of sweat. Don’t forget areas like your neck and temples if you’re attempting to play off a big illness like the flu. Glycerin is safe, non-toxic, and can actually moisturize your skin, which means it’s okay to use as much as you need to really sell your symptoms.
Use foundation to make your lips look pale and dry. Spread a thin coat of liquid foundation over both lips, then press and pucker them like you just put on chapstick to create little cracks and creases. Be sure to hit the inside of each lip as well as the front so the foundation will be visible when you open your mouth. When your lips are the same color as the surrounding skin, they'll seem to recede right into your face. Tracing around your lips with a light-colored eyeliner pencil will help accentuate their dry, cracked, crusty condition and make people think you've come down with something serious. If you accidentally apply too much foundation, blot (don't wipe) your lips with a damp cloth to remove the caked-on bits.
Preserving Your Finished Look
Finish with a dewy setting spray. A generous spritz with a setting spray will help preserve your makeup and safeguard it against smudging and fading. The dewy kind can also lend a faint sheen, complementing the glycerin sweat you already applied and making it look like you’re not wearing makeup at all. Win-win! Hold the bottle a foot or so away from your face while you spray to keep from accidentally blasting off your foundation.
Avoid touching your face. Once you’ve got your frail features looking just right, resist the urge to mess with them. Don’t scratch, pick, or run your fingers over any part of your makeup. A single smudge is all it will take for you to get busted. Lay face-up so your makeup doesn’t rub off on your pillow. If you absolutely have to fiddle with your face, do it delicately and be sure to fix any mistakes you make in the process.
Reapply your makeup as needed. Should you happen to experience any technical difficulties, simply touch up the problem area with a fresh coat of blush, pencil, or foundation. The shiny glycerin will also wear off over time, so you may need to paint on a little more of that periodically as well. Blend the fresh makeup until it’s indistinguishable from the old.
Try not to overdo it. Stop to inspect your handiwork every so often and use your best judgment to decide whether it looks authentic. The key to a face that screams “I can’t get out of bed today” is subtlety. Too much of any one product will come off looking phony and potentially blow your cover. Start small and add more where you think it’s needed. It may not take as much makeup as you think to bring the common cold to life. Use makeup remover wipes to gently blot areas where you’ve caked a product on too heavily.
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