- Find a subject or subjects that you can immerse yourself in. The more you learn, the better—as the saying goes, knowledge is power!
- Ask questions and examine the details. If something doesn’t look right or make sense, try to figure out why— you might just discover something extraordinary.
- Follow your passions, not what’s popular. Being a nerd means not being afraid to go against the grain, express yourself, and explore your interests.
Thinking Like a Nerd
Know the difference between a nerd, a geek, and a dork. There may be significant overlap between the three, but if anyone would care about the subtle distinctions, it would be a nerd. A nerd is thought to be a highly intelligent person who has a singular passion about an academic pursuit. They tend to be either socially inept or asocial. A geek is thought to be an individual who is always interested in a niche activity or subject, but who is not necessarily academically inclined nor as asocial as the nerd. A dork is thought to be slightly sillier and not at all asocial, but perhaps not interested in a niche or academic pursuit.
Be singular. In other words, act the only way you know how, in a way all your own. Nerds are renowned for being weird because they are, each in their own way, quite unique. Live your life like it's entirely your own, like you are the master of your own ship. By just being yourself and embracing your own eccentricities, you're already being weird. If you're looking for inspiration, read about some famous nerds in history. Here are three short vignettes of people, considered "nerds," who did entirely what they wanted: Isaac Newton is a great example. He made many discoveries including the reflector telescope, differential and integral calculus, Laws of Motion and Gravitation, and colors of light. He was usually busy with his research work. He didn't talk much, and only slept about three hours a night. (He probably should have seen a doctor about that.) Katherine Johnson worked for NASA as a "human computer." Her calculations were so accurate that she was asked to double-check the work of the actual computers. She co-authored 26 scientific papers. Alan Turing is another famous nerd. Half-hero, half-scapegoat, Turing is credited with helping to crack the Nazi Enigma codes at the end of World War II, as well as playing an instrumental role in developing the first computers of the 20th century. Despite his achievements, he was later prosecuted by the British government for having a boyfriend and was forced to take estrogen injections to "neutralize his libido." Turing died of suicide not long after the trial.
Find a subject or subjects that you can immerse yourself in. It doesn't need to be science-related, although researchers are finding that increasingly numbers of autistic individuals (who often qualify as nerdy) are drawn to science, technology, engineering and math (STEM majors). Learn as much as you can about the subjects you are interested in, and safeguard that knowledge so that you can use it effectively later on.
Question, constantly. Many nerds are defined by their ability — some say habit — to question the information they receive until they are satisfied about its authenticity or understand the logic behind it. To be a nerd, you must be on an insatiable quest for knowledge. To be on an insatiable quest for knowledge, you must constantly question the quality, source, and utility of information you receive. Don't trust information just because it comes from an authority figure. Nerds understand that figures of authority can sometimes get away with misleading or falsified information simply because of their power. Be willing to fact-check, especially if something seems off or too convenient. Get to the root of things. A nerd will understand a question inside and out. A nerd will not rely on memorized information, but rather on understanding a concept. If a nerd asks the question "Why is the sky blue?" and is given the answer, "Because molecules in the air scatter blue light from the sun more than they scatter red light," her next question will inevitably be: "Why do molecules in the air scatter blue light from the sun more than they scatter red light?" they will continue the line of questioning until the answer relates to something they already understand completely.
Examine the details. The devil may be in the details, but that doesn't mean you can't embrace them. (That was Vladimir Nabokov's advice to his students.) The nerd may prefer concrete details over generalizing statements because details can be cross-checked by reality more easily than generalities can. The nerd cares more about being right than appearing smart, so he grabs onto details as a way of investigating reality. Many nerds gravitate towards sci, tech, eng, math, i.e.: STEM majors: STEMs deal plainly in facts and systems observable in nature, whereas many other more subjective disciplines lack the objective, fact-checking component. Other nerds prefer more theoretical fields, such as abstract fields or the humanities. These also have room for analysis and discussion.
Go toward the gray areas. No, this is not an obscure fashion directive; it's a way of thinking. Nerds tend to see gray areas where others see black and white. This is because nerds are good at examining pros and cons, comparison and contrasts, theses and rebuttals. They devalue their own opinion and focus on the "quantifiable" facts. Sometimes, this leaves them looking like occupational vacillators, constantly seesawing back and forth between "sides" of an argument (arguing with themselves, it may seem). In fact, they are gathering information and waiting for pre-aligned, set "opinion" (conclusion) to hit them with the force of facts, instead of forming an opinion (hypothesis) that one begins justifying by supporting facts. While some areas are black and white (e.g. questions of basic science or respecting human rights), many areas aren't so simple. There may be exceptions, nuances, and qualifications. Look for those and see what you can learn from them. There are several scientific/philosophical theories that nerds who love the gray area reference. It might be helpful to get familiar with just a few of them: Thomas Kuhn's paradigm shifts: Periods of "normal science" are interrupted by periods of "revolutionary science," called paradigm shifts that are relentlessly discussed and expounded (defined, diagrammed, flow-charted, mapped, extrapolated, spanning and forming a new amalgam, a new reality...). For STEMs adherents paradigm shifts are entirely new, focuses of scientific thinking and concentration. Kurt Gödel's incompleteness: It's impossible to establish consistency and completeness inside formal logical systems. In other words, all consistent axiomatic formulations of number theory include propositions/assumptions that are undecidable (fundamental elements of math include the undefined point, line, plain and space which are nonetheless bases to define large fields of mathematics).
Ask the experts. If you know someone who is experienced in a certain field, ask them what they know. Pose questions, listen closely to their answers, and speak up if you don't understand yet, or if you disagree with them. Remember, knowledge can come from surprising sources! Everyone is good at something. Practice intellectual humility and approach each person as if they have something new to teach you. If you disagree with an expert, do so with respect and humility. It's possible they've heard your statement many times before and can tell you exactly how wrong it is.
Lose the ideas of genius and talent. Being intelligent doesn't mean knowing everything; it means knowing things and being eager to learn more. Get comfortable with asking questions and being wrong. The quest for knowledge includes wrong turns and realizing that you don't know. Focus less on "What do I know?" and more on "What can I learn?"
Acting Like a Nerd
Lose yourself in your passion. Nerds get the reputation for being in the clouds half the time because their minds are wandering, probing distant places or complex correlations and equations. For this reason, don't be afraid to be aloof, if that's who you are. Lose yourself in the intellectual areas that make you happy and help you feel connected to the world, even if it means you seem disconnected by the "depth" and "displacement" involved in your internalizing a singular passion. Your passion could be anything, from cryptology to philosophy to Norse mythology to philately. Whatever it is, make it a blast! Set short- and long-term goals for yourself. The sooner you set yourself some goals (perhaps in an outline of variable and constant parameters, a rubric, or a protocol), the easier it will be to achieve them. Setting absorbing goals has the benefit of being especially nerdy!
Don't be afraid to go beyond the ordinary. Think differently. Don't be afraid to tackle an idea or activity that isn't popular. (Realize that you may not have a great grasp of what is popular and what isn't in the first place. No matter!) If you found that lining your car antenna with aluminum foil gives you better reception on the AM stations in your car, then go for it. A nerd does not care how their car looks if the radio station is playing properly. If you propose to test all your friends for an antibody not yet known to science, then go for it (with your friends' consent). A nerd does not care whether the world doubts their methods and challenges their findings. If you are interested in computer viruses and want to tell all your friends what a trojan is, then go for it! A lot of nerds like to learn about things that seem pointless to others.
Always keep learning. A nerd is on a constant quest for knowledge. A nerd doesn't always care whether the information they receive has any utility. The mere fact that it's simple, profound, or counter-intuitive is enough to make it cool.
Read voraciously. Read everything in your area(s) of interests that you can get your hands on, including reference books and encyclopedias. Read and watch the news enough everyday to be informed about what's going on beyond your community. Read fiction books, too, because they can help build your vocabulary and gives you a good sense of spelling. Read things that you like, but your parents don't approve of. Take regular trips to the library. If you can't go physically, try checking out e-books. Read a variety of nonfiction and fiction books. Nonfiction teaches you new things. Fiction teaches you new perspectives. (Look for books about people who are different from you, such as people of different cultures, races, or disabilities. Also check out books that tackle major social issues.) Study related languages. Try to pick up a language just for kicks; or maybe because a subject your learning about has original sources in the native tongue. Experiment with web-based translation machines. If you feel that learning a language is too hard, then try and learn Pig Latin. Pig Latin has a set of rules to go by in order to speak it, so it is very easy to learn. Extra cred goes to nerds who study a "dead" or fictional language, such as Cuman, Eyak, and Karankawa, or Elvish, Dothraki, or Klingon. Dead or fictional languages are exquisitely nerdy. Note that informative reading doesn’t have to mean slogging through a dry, unbearable textbook. For an entertaining and informative read, try the funny physics classic Surely You’re Joking, Mr. Feynman or The Feynman Lectures, any of Brian Greene’s very popular and accessible science bestsellers, or well-researched historical fiction like I, Claudius (whose unlikely hero survives a particularly brutal period in the Roman Empire).
Pay attention in school. Try to get a seat where you can clearly hear, see the teacher and chalkboard, and pay attention. A good goal to set for yourself is to try getting mostly As in everything you do at school, including homework. Take notes, study for that test, and focus. Most of all, come to school ready to learn and try not to worry about the social scene too much if it's uninteresting or uncomfortable. Try some extracurricular activities, such as robotics or math club, chess, or drama. Try to balance your extracurriculars so that they don't bring your grades down. Ask a lot of questions in class. There is no such thing as a stupid question, remember? The only stupid question is the question you didn't ask. Do research above and beyond what is taught in class. YouTube channels such as Khan Academy, Crash Course, Vsauce, Numberphile, CGP Grey to name a few, offer the opportunity to get ahead at the convenience and enjoyment of your computer. Don't be afraid to look into online learning or get a tutor if you're struggling with a certain subject area. Everyone has certain subjects that don't come easily to them. Your school may offer free tutoring resources.
Channel any difficult feelings you may have into your passions. Nerds deal with their anger and heartbreak in a productive way: they think very carefully and logically about what to do or say, or amend changes to their debate presentation before they lash out at other people. Don't cut yourself down. What other people say about you isn't necessarily who you are. Just don't pay attention to what they say about the way you are.
Take care of your body. Make sure you take proper care of your body. Here are some things that help you stay sharp: Eat a healthy diet. Establish a regular sleep schedule. Aim for around 8+ hours to refresh your brain. As a nerd, your brain is one of your biggest assets in life, so you should take care of it. Exercise regularly - even a nerd can be physically fit! Brush your teeth, use floss, and use mouthwash. Regular tooth-brushing improves longevity and reduces a surprising amount of health risks. Maintain good hygiene. It's a common stereotype for nerds to have lots of allergies/health issues, but try to stay on top of all of your medications. For example, if you have asthma, always have your inhaler with you in case of an attack.
Be an optimist. You're a nerd and you know it. But you're also willing to be optimistic. You like who you are, even if it doesn't seem like very many other people do. (That's okay, they simply don't understand you.) The friends that you do have are good people who make you feel like you want to be alive. It may not always be easy. Life can be tough, but you can be equally tough. Nerds are resilient in challenging situations, willing to get up and keep going despite being knocked down. If optimism feels impossible, that's a sign of a problem. A nerd doesn't keep trying the same things if it's clear they aren't working. Find ways to change your life to be more advantageous to your success and well-being. Consult a counselor or doctor if needed; they are experts, after all.
Dressing Like a Nerd
You shouldn't have to worry too much about your fashion sense, because a nerd prizes comfort over style, so if it so happens that you love wearing sweatpants, then embrace it!
Consider practicality. Pull long hair back out of your face. Wear clothes that don't itch and are good for walking, sitting, and running. Look for clothes that have nerdy patterns, like plaid, argyle, or pinstripes. You can wear such patterns on your shirts, jackets, sweaters, or even your pants. Bring a sweater to tie around your waist if needed. This way, you'll be prepared for variable temperatures. If you're a female, only wear high heels if you can walk and run confidently in them. If you want to be taller, stick with kitten heels or platform shoes; a significant heel can cause foot damage and is definitely not practical. Shoes that nerds are commonly associated with wearing are Chuck Taylor All-Stars, loafers, dress shoes, or boat shoes. Measure your feet before you go shoe shopping. You want to make sure the shoes you buy give your feet plenty of support and comfort, and enough room for you to wiggle your toes. If you have foot problems like flat feet, meet up with a podiatrist to have your feet examined - it's okay if you need to wear orthopedics! Colored pants are a staple of the nerdy style. You can wear any pants you like, but only wear ones that are comfortable for you. Popular color choices include olive green, maroon, brown, gray, mustard yellow, and navy blue. Khakis are a classic choice if colored pants aren't your thing. Chino pants are a more casual alternative.
Use your shirts to make nerd references or jokes. Look for ones that make you chuckle or smile. Math jokes, or obscure topics (binary code, Latin, etc.) work great, too, as do movie references. Try using T-shirts to advertise your interest in your favorite video games, movies, books, or TV shows. This may attract new nerdy friends who like the same things. Try on button-down shirts, long-sleeved or short-sleeved ones. You can wear it in a solid color or with a pattern. To appear dressier, wear a tie and keep the shirt buttoned up all the way. Polo shirts are a more casual alternative if button-down shirts aren't your thing.
Wear glasses if you need them. Glasses not help you see better, which is good for your overall health, but they're also the defining staple of the nerdy style, so they'll help increase your nerd quotient drastically. Find a pair of glasses you like, and you'll get used to wearing them in no time. Because nerds aren't into fashion statements, wearing fake glasses isn't really a nerd thing. (Geeks and hipsters sometimes do this.) Glasses can also help make you more attractive, as long as you wear them with confidence.
Sport ill-fitting clothes (if desired). Nerds are infamous in the fashion world for wearing clothes that don't flatter their body type and are rather anachronistic, probably because their clothes are hand-me-downs. So if you're going for the nerd look, choose your wardrobe by lottery instead of carefully fitting the outfit together. Some nerds go for the disheveled look (by accident or choice). There's nothing wrong with this as long as you're showered and clean.
Dress preppy. Some nerds, but not all, have the preppy look on lock-down. A button-down shirt (tucked-in, of course), a vest, chino pants, and loafers, with a hint of messiness to tie it all together. Especially when worn during informal occasions, this style will get you pegged for a nerd in no time.
Socializing Like a Nerd
Be friendly. A nerd may be very smart, but he or she never looks down on anyone who isn't as smart as he or she is. Work on being polite, gentle, and easygoing with everyone around you, whether they are a jock, a valley girl, or anyone who has an intellectual disability. Sometimes, correcting others hurts more than it helps. If a person is sensitive or in a bad mood, or if the situation isn't good, let it slide. (With the exception of health issues, of course.) If you know that a person prefers to be corrected, discreetly correct them and don't make it a big deal. Support fellow nerds. If you should find one getting bullied or snubbed by his or her non-nerdy peers, be there for him or her. Introduce yourself and invite him or her to spend time together with you so you can get to know each other better.
Use the right words. Nerds are usually pretty good with words because they care about getting things right. It doesn't hurt that they may read more in a month than the average American reads in a year. Regardless, the misconception out there is that nerds use big words. Wrong. Nerds use the right word given the context. Sometimes, the right word happens to be a big one. Very smart nerds have the ability to use incredibly basic words to explain incredibly complex subject matter. Make the dictionary and thesaurus your friend. Whenever you come across a word you don't know, consult the dictionary. Whenever you believe you could be using a better word given the circumstances, consult a thesaurus. Skip the overly complex or obscure words if you're talking to a child or someone with a limited vocabulary. The point of communication is to share ideas, not make the other person feel inferior. Recognize that prioritizing other things doesn't mean someone is unintelligent or boring. Some people who love to style hair are interested in the chemistry that is used to make hair products. Some football players love the theatre and acting. It's good to be friends with fellow nerds, though you shouldn't judge non-nerdy people for not being "smart." Maybe they didn't have the same educational opportunities as you have had or they have a disability. They still could be interesting in other ways, and you never know what you could learn from them.
Seek good, wholesome fun. Nerds are fun-loving and playful, with activities such as LAN parties, having movie marathons, playing role-playing or tabletop games, or collecting things (like comic books, rocks and minerals, or film paraphernalia) being examples of typical nerdy activities. You can enjoy them alone (independence can be good) or with your new nerdy friends (the more the merrier!)! Be cautious about alcohol, especially if you are underage. This can impair your judgment and could harm your ability to recognize harmful or dangerous activities. Say "no thanks" if anyone offers you drugs.
Find friends with similar interests. While geeks often navigate between social groups, nerds are more likely to associate with other nerds, because of common interests. Maybe if you're an abstract thinker, try to find a nerd who's more practical or technical, and vice versa. Having a friend, or a set of friends, who complement you is as much as anyone could ask for. If you don’t know any nerds who are interested in what you do, find a community online or try to get your own friends interested in aspects of nerdiness. The web is increasingly becoming an important social community for nerds, mainly because of its focus on free expression and its utility as platform for technology. Don't be afraid to branch out to non-nerdy friends too. They have their own values and interesting perspectives.
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