Jawani Diwani
Starring: Emran Hashmi, Celina Jaitley, Hrishitaa Bhatt
Director: Manish Sharma
Have you ever gone to the cinema and stared at a blank screen for two hours? Probably not, and neither have I. But I can say with confidence that staring at a blank screen for two hours will not be as painful as watching this week's new Bollywood release Jawani Diwani.
This film is meant to be a romantic comedy of sorts, but quite frankly, there is nothing even remotely funny about it.
Jawani Diwani is the story of an over-sexed young man who's constantly looking up girl's skirts and into their blouses.
He's also a struggling singer, and ends up pulling off the perfect con — he woos the daughter of a music baron and lands a record deal.
In exchange he promises her marriage. But then, a one-night stand in Goa ends up badly for him, what with an underworld don making sure he marries the girl he spent the night with. Now what will he do?
The biggest flaw with the film is that it's outdated and archaic both in concept and in execution.
I think it's safe to say that there obviously was no script to begin with, and that's really where the problem lies.
To add insult to injury the writers think they have the right to spoof others — so you have an Anu Malik rip-off and a Malika Sherawat clone.
Also the film is full of double meaning dialogues and cheap jokes. Really, this film has no redeeming qualities.
Bollywood churns out bad comedies all the time, but what makes Jawani Diwani worse than all others, is the fact that this film is without a shred of artistic distinction. It lacks even simple craftsmanship or decent storytelling.
Technically, it's just as bad or just as good as any other B-grade production.
The actors are astonishingly incompetent — each one of them — and for that reason alone, they look perfectly at ease and comfortable performing opposite each other.
Movies like Jawani Diwani are small miracles. You look at them and wonder how, at any stage of its making, anyone could have thought there was a watchable movie here.
Did the director find it funny? Did the actors know they were doomed? Here is a movie to watch in appalled silence.
Rating: 0/5 (At Your Own Risk)
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15 Park Avenue
Starring: Shabana Azmi, Konkona Sen Sharma, Rahul Bose, Kanwaljit Singh
Director: Aparna Sen
Thankfully, Jawani Diwani isn't the only new release this week. Follow up to her compelling and moving love story Mr & Mrs Iyer, director Aparna Sen's latest film 15 Park Avenue which also released on Friday, is about the complicated yet strangely beautiful relationship between two sisters played by Shabana Azmi and Konkona Sensharma.
Always slightly delusional since her childhood, the younger sibling turns schizophrenic following a tragic incident, and it is left to the older sister to protect her and nurse her back to health. Problem is, older sister isn't short of her own problems.
On one level — the immediately obvious level — this is of course the story of a family devastated by the rapidly worsening condition of its youngest member.
But on another level, it's the story of love, responsibility and dependency, and about how even seemingly "normal" people lead anything but normal lives.
What works in favour of 15 Park Avenue is that it's a remarkably engaging tale, one that is completely unpredictable and refreshingly original.
But, what goes against the film is the fact that the director at some point forgets what's the crux of her story.
If the first half suggests that we're going to see the story through the eyes of the older sister, then the second half is completely the voice of the younger sibling. As a result, you're a little confused about whose story you're following.
To give credit where it's due, Waheeda Rahman is remarkable as the helpless mother of the two girls, and Shefali Shah deserves a pat on the back for bringing such believability to her role as the conflicted wife of Konkona's ex boyfriend.
Right off the bat you're likely to applaud Konkona Sensharma's performance as the film's best, but look a little closer and you'll notice that it's really Shabana Azmi who's the star of the show.
In no ways meant to undermine Konkona's studiously rehearsed act, you have to admit that Shabana's seemingly simpler role has elicited the finer, more nuanced performance.
Aparna Sen's movies possess a real visual splendour. They look and feel like they belong in a cinema in a way that some others don't.
And what better examples to illustrate my point than 36 Chowringhee Lane and Mr & Mrs Iyer? This film too deals in big themes.
But like the main characters in 15 Park Avenue, the film too is very easy to like, but falls a little short of true greatness.
Rating: 
(Good)
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In Her Shoes
Starring: Cameron Diaz, Anson Mount, Toni Collette, Richard Burgi
Director: Curtis Hanson
There's another film about sisters at the movie halls this week, but this one's from Hollywood.
Director Curtis Hanson's In Her Shoes is a chick flick for grown-ups.
It's not one of those light, fluffy, forgettable films, rather a refreshingly raw, almost brutal examination of sibling rivalry that will make you both chuckle and hold back a tear.
Played by Cameron Diaz and Toni Colette, Maggie and Rose are two motherless sisters with very little in common, but dependent on each other nonetheless.
Their relationship is blown apart after Rose finds Maggie in bed with her man, and now the two ladies are forced to face life estranged for the first time.
Shirley Maclaine plays the maternal grandmother the girls never knew of, and in a roundabout way, she's the one who brings them together again.
It's a fun film that will make you think. It's also a film that will make you discover what a fabulous actress Toni Colette is.
Rating: ,and recommended viewing
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