Compliments to Build Confidence
Help your child believe they can do anything with empowering statements. High self-esteem is incredibly important for kids—it helps them feel accepted, liked, and confident. Plus, kids with self-esteem and self-confidence are less likely to criticize and doubt themselves. These compliments are a great start for uplifting your child and giving them a boost of confidence: “I love how passionate you are!” “I’m so proud of you! That took a lot of courage.” “I love how curious you are.” “You’re so helpful.” “Your positivity encourages me.” “You’ve improved so much!” “You are so talented! You’ll have to show me how to do that.” “You’re so fun to be around!” “You encourage me.” “You’re an excellent problem solver.” “You’re one of a kind.” “I admire how brave you are.” “You’re so respectful.” “You matter to me.” “You’re thoughtful.” “You’re a great big/little sister/brother.” “You give the best hugs.” “You’re so strong.” “We make a great team.” “You’re an awesome leader.” “You’re a great listener.” “I enjoy listening to your stories.” “You tell the best jokes.” “You make a difference.” “You’re so fun to play with!” “You’re unique.” “You are such a joy!” “You set a great example.” “You’re so creative! Tell me about this.” “I’m proud that you want to try this yourself.”
Compliments to Improve Self-Worth
Show a child they’re worthy of love by commenting on personal traits. Self-worth is having an internal sense that you’re worthy of love and belonging. In other words, it’s when you have a strong sense of belief in yourself. If a child has self-worth, they like and have a strong belief of who they are. Positive self-worth and confidence go hand-in-hand. Help inspire your child to feel worthy of themselves with these compliments: “You light up any room.” “You have the best laugh.” “You inspire me.” “You totally rock!” “You’re a great friend.” “Your smile makes me smile.” “I love spending time with you.” “You’re so smart.” “There’s no one else like you.” “I love your creativity!” “You make our family better.” “I love the way you see the world.” “You’ve practiced so well, and I’m so proud of you.” “You make my days better.” “I know you have what it takes to succeed.” “You have such fun dreams.” “You’re an amazing son/daughter.” “You’re interesting.” “Nothing can ever keep you down!” “You have great ideas.” “You make me happy.” “I’m grateful for you.”
Compliments to Improve Mood
Lift a child’s spirits with positive comments and affirming messages. Kids can have a hard time regulating and understanding their emotions. After all, they’re experiencing them for the first time! So, if your child is feeling down or seems confused by their emotions, try offering them one of these compliments: “You did it all by yourself! I’m so proud of you.” “I appreciate how you waited your turn.” “It’s hard to express your emotions. Thank you for telling me.” “That took guts—I’m proud of you!” “Thank you for being so patient. That takes a lot of effort.” “You make me so proud.” “I love when you smile.” “You’re brave.” “I’m so glad you’re here.” “I love you so much, and I’ll always be here for you.” “I’m so lucky to have you.” “You’re fantastic.” “I like when you tell me how you feel.” “I love that you never give up.” “You’re so special.” “I believe in you.” “I have confidence in you.” “You’re doing great things.” “I love you.”
Best Practices for Complimenting Kids
Stay away from compliments about appearances. Complimenting a child on their appearance could backfire, even if you have the best intentions. Kids are like sponges—they absorb everything! If you only focus compliments and praise around how they physically look, they may develop a subconscious belief that they need to look a certain way to receive love and attention. As a general rule, avoid praising things they can’t control, such as their physical appearance, and focus on what they can control, such as their attitude. For instance, instead of saying, “You have a beautiful smile,” try, “Your laugh is so contagious. I love it!” This isn’t to say you can never compliment your child’s appearance! Just try to focus most of your compliments on their amazing personality to remind them how great they are on the inside.
Applaud good behavior. Kids seek approval—it’s how they know whether they’re doing the right thing. So, make sure to praise and compliment your child when they do something right. Giving them attention when they’re good helps encourage good behavior and discourage bad behavior. Let’s say you see your child cleaning their room. Compliment them by saying, “Well done! I’m so proud of you for cleaning your room.” Be specific. When complimenting your child, be specific about what they’ve done to deserve your praise. This tells them why they’re getting positive attention while also sharing what they should be confident about. For example, a compliment like, “I’m really impressed by how you’re doing in school. Ms. Smith says you’re doing a great job multiplying” tells a kid you’re proud of their school work and they should keep at it.
Show an interest in their interests. There’s no denying that kids can have lots of hobbies and interests. And while you may not be fully intrigued by them, your kid doesn’t have to know that! Meet your child where they are right now. Compliment the things they’re passionate about and interested in. Try saying something like, “Wow! You put in a lot of effort making this. I like how the colors blend,” or “That’s impressive. Can you tell me more about it?” As licensed clinical psychologist Kim Chronister says, “To make a compliment stand out and be more unique, highlight something you’ve recently learned about their skill set.”
Focus on your child alone, not comparisons. Comparing your child’s traits, accomplishments, and attributes to another child or person could hinder their self-worth. Rather than comparing your child to others, focus on what makes them amazing on their own. Engage in what they’re doing over what others are doing to instill confidence. For example, instead of saying, “Your painting is good, but I really do like Tommy’s,” try, “What a fantastic painting! Can you tell me about it?”
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