How to Find Family Members

Organizing a Search

Consider the implications of finding this person. Think about why you want to find a certain family member. Was there family turmoil that may be uprooted if other family members know that you are looking for that person? Can you enlist help from other members of your family? Gauge other family members' possible reactions before springing the idea on them so as to not cause hurt feelings. Adoption situations can make for complicated searches. If you are looking for birth parents, or for children that were given up for adoption, make sure that you won't be stirring up a taboo subject or creating unrest in your family.

Ask other family members to help. Interview any available family members who can give you more information or possible leads. You may have to speak to multiple people to get all of the information that you need. The more people you can ask about your family member's history and the possible direction that he or she pursued, the more you will likely find out. If your family is supportive of your quest, start dividing up tasks so that you can cover more ground in a shorter amount of time. Have one person search social media, one person visit the local public record archives, and one person contact your family member's old acquaintances to ask for information.

Check public records. Visit the person's hometown—or the town where you suspect that the family member resides—and check available public records. These records could include marriage, birth, and death certificates, or even newspaper articles and announcements. Visit the local public library, or ask around at the local courthouse for publicly-accessible archives.

Record your findings. Keep organized records of everything that you learn. Write down facts and rumors, phone numbers and addresses, and contacts who might be able to give you more information. Piece together everything that you know. Consider what information, if any, might be missing. Consider marking a map with each place that your family member has gone, and why. If you can visualize their journey, it might be easier for you to guess at their next step.

Follow up on your leads. If you uncover any contact information, consider calling, emailing, or sending a letter to confirm the location of your family member. If all you can find is an address, consider visiting that address to find out if the lost person is living there. Be persistent and be thorough. You never know when a lead will work out. If you call, do not make assumptions. Say, "Hi, is Theresa there?" and explain why you are trying to find her. If the person on the other end of the line doesn't seem to know anything, do not push.

Consider hiring a private investigator. If your research leads you to a dead end, try turning the case over to a professional who finds people for a living. Provide the investigator with all of the background information that you have already compiled and let them do the leg work for you. Search for "private investigator [your area]" or "private investigator lost family member". There are many websites that can help you find family, lost loves, and old friends. Be cautious: the Internet abounds with scam sites.

Using the Internet to Find Family Members

Use people-search web services. There are a number of web services through which you can find names, addresses, ages, and records: marriage, employment, and legal histories. Some sites are free, and some charge a small service fee. Compare low-cost and no-cost search options, and find something that suits your purposes. You can also run a reverse phone number search if you have a phone number that's connected to your family member. Use commercial websites such as https://www.ussearch.com/people-search/, or http://www.ancestry.com/. You usually need to pay a service charge to use these websites, but they also tend to give you more information than free sites. Check out free people-search websites like FamilySearch.org, which is a service provided by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Check out the free resources at http://www.myheritage.com/family-tree-builder?gclid=CMGsrLq-_qcCFYS8KgodpGINqQ.

Search for family members through social media. You can search for people on Facebook, Google Plus, Twitter, Instagram, and most other networks, although you may need to search through long lists of people with common names. You may be able to refine your search if you know the person's email address, their community, or their schools. If you are looking for a specific person, search for his or her full name. Try searching for nicknames and variations in addition to full legal names. For example, if you are trying to find Bob Shovels, try searching for "Robert" and "Bobby" in addition to "Bob". Search for any variations that you know a person has used. If you suspect that someone you know might be Facebook friends with the person you are trying to find, try looking through their friend list. It is possible to de-index your profile from the Facebook search tool, so just because you cannot find your family member through a basic search does not always mean that he or she doesn't have a profile.

Follow up with a call or message. If you are reasonably sure that you have found your lost family member, try to find a reliable means of contacting her. Look for a street address, an email address, a phone number, or a social media profile. Reach out to the person with a message explaining who you are, or call the number that you find and ask for someone by her name. If you cannot find your family member online, it could be a sign that he or she has gone off the grid. He or she may be "illegal" in some way, or wanted by the police, or simply not wanting to be found Bear in mind that if you aren't "friends" with someone on Facebook, private messages will go to a separate, little-seen inbox. The person may eventually see your message, but he or she will not necessarily notice it immediately.

Tracing Your Family Tree

Start with living relatives and work your way into the past. Ask questions and get as much detail as possible: full names, maiden names, date of birth, date of death, date of marriage, date of divorce, names of children, and places they may have lived. Family bibles often have familial information recorded in them, and old personal notes or letters may be helpful as well. If all you have is a photo of your family member, ask other family members if they recognize him or her. Look through old family photo albums and try to figure out who is who. If you aren't sure when a photo was taken, check the back of the photo for the date.

Use genealogy websites. You can use the Internet to put together all of the information that you gather. Websites like Ancestry.com and FindAGrave.com are a good starting point, and some offer free trials. These sites have access to US census records, birth, marriage, death certificates, and other family trees that may intersect your own. If you have a name to search for, you can find out where family members are buried, and you can find information about any memorials that have been held. Bear in mind that you may find many people with similar names. Immigrants from similar backgrounds often tend to congregate in a given neighborhood or region, so you may find find individuals with extremely similar names. Names may have been misspelled or arbitrarily changed in older records, so you may find many different iterations of certain names and dates. Follow up with local municipalities to verify any information that you find. Ancestral search sites usually allow you to search international repositories and documents. If your ancestral family hails from another country, you can piece together the journey that you ancestors took from their homeland.

Consider hiring a professional genealogist. If you do not make as much progress as you like, or you find you need a language translator, you can find professional genealogists on ancestral search websites. Remember, information such as your mother's maiden name is often used to as a security question for your financial information. Be careful sharing personal information. Research professional genealogists thoroughly. Read reviews and references before deciding who to trust with your information.