How to Get Your Best Friend to Stop Teasing You

Figuring Out Why Your Best Friend is Teasing You

Consider your friend’s intention. There are many different reasons a friend might tease you. He or she could be teasing you to make you laugh, make you feel bad, or a combination of both. Taking some time to consider why your friend is teasing you can help you find a good way to get him or her to stop. Ask yourself some of the following questions to understand why your friend might be teasing you: Does my friend tease me when we’re alone or with family? Does my friend tease me in front of other friends or people? Does my friend tease me to look cool or make others laugh? Does my friend’s teasing make me feel bad by calling me names, putting me down or threatening me? Does my friend’s teasing make me feel uncomfortable? Does my friend tease me to get a bad reaction from me or make him or herself feel better?

Ask your mom or dad about the teasing. You might realize from these questions that your friend intends to be mean with his or her teasing. But you may still be unsure about why your friend is teasing you. If this is the case, ask your mom or dad if they can help you figure out what your friend’s teasing means. Be honest with your mom or dad about the teasing. Remember that you did nothing wrong to get teased. You can say, “Mom, Sam called me “silly Billy” today when we were playing. What does this mean?” or “Dad, Maggie called me “bad breath Seth” in front of the class today.” Let your mom or dad know what you and your friend were doing before he or she teased you, how you felt, and what you and your friend did after the teasing.

Think about your own behavior. It’s important to think about why your friend is teasing you. But it’s also a good idea to think about your own behavior. This might help you realize that you also accidentally tease your friend or said something funny that your friend thought was hurtful. Ask yourself, “Did I tease my friend before he or she teased me back?” You can also say, “Did I say something that hurt my friend and he or she teased me to get back at me for that?” Figure out if you said something funny before the teasing. For example, maybe you slipped and said, “Dinosaurs stinked” instead of “Dinosaurs are extinct.” If your friend giggled and repeated back something like, “Haha, dinosaurs stinked!” and then said, “I bet they did stink,” then he or she probably just found the moment funny and didn’t mean you any harm.

Dealing with Your Friend’s Behavior

Tell your friend about your feelings. Your friend may not realize that his or her teasing is making you feel badly or hurting your feelings. Letting your friend know how his or her teasing affects you may stop it. Let your friend calmly, nicely, and confidently know that it makes you feel bad when he or she teases you. It’s important to be as nice as possible so that you don’t hurt your friend’s feelings. You may even want to say something when it’s just the two of you. You could say, “Alex, you’re my best friend and it really hurts my feelings when you tease me” or “Taylor, when you called me “bad breath Seth” I felt really sad.” Allow your friend to respond to what you say. He or she may apologize to you or could get mad. If this happens, just walk away to let your friend know you don’t want to fight.

Ask your friend to stop teasing you. Letting your friend know how the teasing makes you feel is a good way to get your friend’s attention. You should also clearly ask your friend to stop teasing you, especially if it’s hurtful. Say, “Thanks so much for listening to my feelings, Sam. I’ve been feeling badly lately. Could you please stop teasing me?” or “It would be really helpful if you didn’t tease me anymore.” Consider assuring your friend that you won’t tease him or her anymore, either. Not having any teasing in your friend may keep either of you from hurting each other.

Use body language when your friend teases you. It can be tempting to argue or stick out your tongue if your friend is teasing you. This might not stop him or her from teasing you. Instead, use your body language to signal to your friend that you don’t like the teasing. This can be a silent and very effective way to tell your friend—and others—that you don’t like what he or she is saying. You can use the following body language to show your friend that you are not happy about the teasing: Crossing your arms Looking directly at him or her and not saying anything Knitting or turning down your eyebrows Angle your head downwards and rub your forehead Turning down your mouth or frowning

Ignore the teasing. Another way to get a friend to stop teasing you is to simply walk away. While this might seem like you’re running away, it’s actually a powerful way to say, “I don’t care” and “you can’t hurt me.” Ignoring your friend’s comments can make you feel better and make your friend realize that he or she needs to stop. Pretend that you don’t hear your friend’s teasing. You can also look directly at your friend when she or he teases you and simply not say anything back. Think about having a protective bubble around you that words can’t get through. This could help you ignore the teasing, too. Walk away calmly from the situation. Don’t respond or react in an aggressive way, which could make the teasing worse. Simply turn around and walk to another place. If your friend chases behind you, it may make him or her look badly. He or she may even want to apologize to you.

Give your friend a dose of the same medication. Sometimes your friend might not get the clue that his or her teasing really hurts you. Calmly teasing back may send the message that he or she needs to stop. Keep your response as calm and “nice” as possible. For example, you could say, “Wow, you noticed my braces! You’re a real genius, Logan.” You could also say, “I thought that the bad smell was your bad breath bouncing off of my face.” Avoid saying about the person’s appearance or family, even if they tease you for this. In these cases, you could say, “If only we were all gorgeous like you, Jaden.”

Getting Help if Your Friend Doesn’t Stop Teasing You

Let another friend know. If your friend continues to tease you or he or she is teasing another friend, too, then let that person know about your experience. Tell a friend about how your feelings and that the teasing that is happening. Your friend may offer you support when the friend teases you or can help you feel better by assuring you that you’re a great person and doing nothing wrong. Ask your other friend if you can talk to him or her in private. Remember to stay calm and as to the point as possible so you don’t appear mean or like you’re trying to hurt the friend who is teasing you. Say, “Bailey, can we talk? Cameron has been teasing me a lot and it hurts my feelings. I noticed that she does the same thing to you, too. Does it make you feel bad?” You can also say, “Avery, can I talk to you? Sydney has been teasing me a lot and I don’t know what to do about it. I’ve asked him to stop and he won’t. He’s started to tease me in front of all of our friends and I feel really left out.”

Tell an adult about the teasing. If the teasing doesn’t stop or gets worse, let an adult know about it. You could tell your parents, a teacher, or a counselor about your friend’s teasing. This may get the friend to stop, especially if he or she fears getting punished by his or her parents. Be honest with the adult you are telling about the teasing. Tell the person what’s been going on and how it makes you feel. Answer any questions the adult asks you about the teasing. Remember that you’ve done nothing wrong and are great just the way you are. Telling an adult can help you feel better and find a positive way to stop the teasing.

Stay away from you friend. A true friend will always support and respect your feelings. If your friend doesn’t stop teasing you, limit how much time you spend with him or her or end the friendship entirely. Not only can this end the teasing, but may also make you feel a lot better. Stay away from places you know your friend might be. If you have a lot of mutual friends, you can choose to sit away from the teaser or just limit how much you talk to him or her. Try and stay as calm and nice as you can. Start spending time with new friends who value you and don’t tease you if you don’t like it. End the friendship entirely if the friend won’t stop. He or she clearly doesn’t value you as a friend. Be aware that it may cause problems with mutual friends, but true friends will support you.