Approaching a Dance Partner
Establish a basic connection with someone on the dance floor. Don’t just walk up to someone and start grinding on them—this comes off as disrespectful and violates the person’s space. Instead, exchange a smile and have a basic conversation before you start dancing. If your potential partner is smiling at you and seems interested, then it’s safe to ask for a dance. Talking to someone doesn’t guarantee that they’ll agree to be your dance partner. Respect the person’s wishes, whatever they may be! Don’t try to casually “bump” into the person, as this will just come across as awkward.
Ask the person if they'd like to dance with you. Don’t automatically assume that someone wants to dance with you! Since the two of you will be getting pretty close on the dance floor, it's respectful to ask first. For instance, you can say something like: “I love this song! Would you like to dance with me?” or "I'm ready to hit the dance floor! Want to join me?" Don’t worry if you can’t find a dance partner at first. Grinding is popular at clubs, so you should be able to find a partner there!
Stand 1 to 2 in (2.5 to 5.1 cm) behind your dance partner. Check that you’re standing back-to-front, with their back almost touching your chest. Give yourself at least 1 to 2 in (2.5 to 5.1 cm) of space between your bodies so you both have a some room to move. If 1 to 2 in (2.5 to 5.1 cm) of space feels too close for you, just make sure you’re standing close enough to put your hands on your partner’s hips.
Wait for your partner to start dancing so you can follow their lead. Give your partner a few minutes to sway back and forth to the beat of the music until they find their groove. Focus on getting the rhythm down so you can match your partner's movements. Grinding is more about following your partner’s lead than anything else. Let your partner figure out the rhythm and go from there!
Moving in Sync with Your Partner
Sway your hips and body to the music to sync up with your partner. Move back and forth, swaying your hips to the same beat as your partner. Keep an eye on your partner’s hips and shoulders so you can get in sync with them more quickly.
Bend your knees and rotate your hips back forth to start grinding. Move your hips in sync with their hips so the grind is smooth, comfortable, and rhythmic. Continue the same hip rotation, always staying with the beat and letting your partner lead the movements.
Put your hands on your partner’s hips to stay in sync. Keep swaying as your rotate your hips to the beat and lightly place your hands on their hips to stay connected. Maintain a loose, comfortable grip on their hips—after all, you want to follow your partner's movements, not control them. This is especially helpful if your partner starts doing some wild or unpredictable dance moves! You don’t have to keep your hands on your partner’s hips the entire time! Use your hands as a way to reconnect if you fall out of sync with them.
Raise a hand in the air as you grind if you’re feeling confident. Keep dancing to the beat of the music with your partner, placing your hands on their hips as needed. If you’re feeling adventurous, keep a hand on your partner’s hips, then lift your other hand in the air. Continue grinding as you did before, following the beat as you go.
Change up your dance moves to keep things interesting. Try out some new dance moves so you aren’t grinding with your partner constantly. Swing your arms around, or bring your partner closer by keeping your hands on their hips. Watch for your partner to change things up and follow their lead. If your partner seems interested, you pull them a little closer to make the dance even more intimate or ask them if it's okay for you to do that. Don’t get caught up in the nitty gritty details of the dance. Just focus on letting loose and having fun!
Being a Respectful Dance Partner
Take a break if your partner seems bored or uncomfortable. Don’t feel pressured to grind for an entire song! The dance is a bit intimate and raunchy, and your partner may not be interested in grinding for very long. Respect their wishes and follow their lead. If they start to pull away, let them be.
Maintain respectful boundaries between yourself and your partner. While grinding involves staying close with your partner, don’t take the dance move too literally. Never rub or physically grind any part of your body against your partner, as this will violate those boundaries.
Don’t make callous assumptions after the dance is over. While grinding can get pretty cozy, don’t assume that your partner wants to keep things intimate when the dance is over. Respect your partner’s wishes and go your separate ways after the dance is over, unless your partner tells you otherwise.
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