Conveying Confidence
Shake hands firmly. Weak, listless handshakes can make you seem timid and anything but confident. Your handshake should be firm but not overly tight, because you won't impress anyone by giving them a sore hand. As you shake the person's hand, make eye contact with him to show you're sure of yourself and genuinely interested in meeting him. Reader Poll: We asked 681 wikiHow readers, and 68% of them agreed that eye contact and smiling are the best ways to project confidence the first time you meet someone new. [Take Poll]
Keep your posture relaxed, but not slouched. Stand up straight, but don’t tighten up so that you look rigid and nervous. If you’re a natural sloucher, make sure to check your posture sporadically and straighten up as needed. A hunched back can make you look unsure of yourself, or even like you don’t care too much about the situation. Standing or sitting up straight and tall can not only make you appear more confident, but it can actually make you feel more confident as well!
Maintain an appropriate amount of eye contact. By maintaining eye contact with the person you’re talking to — or meeting for the first time — you’re letting her know that you’re paying attention to what she is saying. Not only are you paying attention, but you’re interested in it as well. Whenever there is a natural pause in the conversation, feel free to casually glance at something else. Eye contact is good, but nonstop staring can be a little unsettling! Pay attention to how much you’re blinking. It can be an unconscious thing, but rapid blinking can make you look nervous or uncomfortable. If you find yourself blinking a lot, try to slow it down.
Keep your hands still, in your lap or at your sides. When people are nervous nervous, it’s common for them to fidget with their hands. Try to keep your hands still, or clasped in your lap if you’re sitting. Avoid touching your hair or adjusting with your clothing, which can make you seem anxious, unsure of yourself, or even deceitful. Talk with your hands, if it’s appropriate! If you’re passionate about something you’re speaking about, feel free to gesture — just don’t overdo it.
Widen your stance. If you want to appear confident when you're meeting someone, stand your ground! If you keep your feet close together, or crossed, you're more likely to come off as nervous or insecure. Instead, stand with your feet apart in a "power stance," and show everyone around you that you feel sure of yourself.
Acting Welcoming
Keep your arms uncrossed. When you’re communicating with a family member or a friend who knows you well, they probably won’t think twice about your crossed arms; however, to new people, this gesture can look defensive or closed-off. It can also signal boredom and disinterest, so avoid it altogether.
Align your body with the person you’re communicating with. In other words, turn your body so that you are facing the person fully and directly. This will show him that you are completely engaged, and he has your complete attention. If you’re in a group of people, try not to cut anyone off or leave anyone out, but do try to pivot toward the person you want to impress. If you’re in a situation where it isn’t possible to completely turn towards the person, just maintain eye contact to show your interest. Disrupting an interaction by trying to angle your body towards him could make you appear overeager and might be a bit awkward.
Lean in slightly. Don’t get too close and invade the person's personal space, but tilt your body toward her to show her you’re attentive and engrossed in whatever she is talking about. Even if you’re just ever so slightly leaning in over a tabletop or in a chair, it can convey a lot to the person you’re with whom you’re communicating. If you aren’t in a situation where you feel comfortable leaning in, just make sure you aren’t leaning away. Just like leaning in shows interest, leaning back shows disinterest.
Point your legs and feet toward the person. This applies to both sitting and standing. Nothing says disinterest like angling your legs in the opposite direction, as if you're ready to leave at a moment's notice! Most people focus intently on their facial expressions and their hands when they're trying to make a good impression, but it's important to pay attention to your lower half as well.
Showing Positivity and Kindness
Nod and smile when appropriate. These nonverbal cues can show the other person that you’re fully engaged in what he is saying, and in agreement. Try nodding three times to show that you’re really absorbing what he is saying. When it comes to smiling, make sure it reaches your eyes! If you turn up the corners of your mouth but your eyes remain neutral, you could come off as fake and insincere.
Mirror the person you’re speaking with. Don’t be obvious, but try to casually match her body language and facial expression. By doing this, you’ll help the other person feel comfortable toward you. This mirroring technique has even been shown to increase a person's good will toward the person mirroring her. If she's leaning on a wall, lean on the wall. If she has crossed her arms, cross your arms. It’s an effortless technique that can pay off big time.
Laugh genuinely. Even if you’re in a formal setting, if he has clearly said something that was intended to illicit a laugh, laugh! Show him that you have a sense of humor, and you’re listening to what he is saying. If you’re in a tense or nerve-wracking situation, laughter is a great way to help you loosen up and lighten the mood. Avoid laughing out of nerves or because you have nothing to say. Random, unprompted laughter may make you look uncomfortable and nervous.
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