Family support needed to keep out of sex work

CHENNAI: “If only our parents had supported and accepted us, we would not be in this sex trade or begging.” This was the common feeling of many transgender women in the city who have made their way into the sex trade to make ends meet.Sudha (28) is a classic example. When she discovered her gender identity, she dropped out of second year BDS from a Chennai dental college. Today she earns her living as a sex worker. She said, “If only my family had supported me and accepted me at that time, today I would be a dentist earning a decent living.”Sudha’s father died when he came to know that she had become a transgender woman. And the family holds her responsible for her father’s death. “Walking the street to earn a living is like walking over a knife,” says Sudha. “All the time, we have to live in fear and it is highly unsafe. We fear not just the police but the rowdies as well.”Sudha has now found a man who loves her for who she is. She said, “My husband’s mother proudly shows me around as her daughter-in-law, and my husband’s children visit us on weekends. Every time I walk the street, I fear if any one of them  sees me, what will become of my life. Will the kids still call me amma if they know what I do for a living?”Sowmiya (26), another transgender woman, has had bitter experiences on the road. She was once robbed by a rowdy who came as a client. “It was a lucky escape. But life for us on the street is very tough.” She has the same belief, that if her parents would have accepted her, she would not have dropped out of school at Class 9.Magdalene Jeyarathnam, Director, Centre for Counselling, who has been working with LGBT issues for close to a decade, said, “The support of parents (family) gives every individual, especially in the queer community, the self esteem to survive. When they go through this confusion, coupled with the burden of  their families not accepting them, in their turmoil  they mostly drop out of school. When support is denied, the ability and courage to stand up for themselves suffers. It is only natural then that these young people end up begging and doing sex work.”The Centre for Counselling also conducts support group meeting for parents as well for the LGBT people addressing their various issues. (For more details, contact this helpline number: 9884700164 / 9884700104)