BANGALORE: Seeing is believing. Time and again, this has been proven. Once, a man wrote a legendary treatise and the back-fence talk was that he did so by secretly peeking into the chambers of ‘in the act’ couples. The result was Kamasutra and the man was Vatsyayana.As time passed by, the postbox and telephone came to being. Then came French inventor Joseph Nicephore Niepce and the world saw the first photograph. In 1973, the first hand-held mobile phone was demonstrated by Dr Martin Cooper of Motorola. Later, Vinton Gray ‘Vint’ Cerf came in and we got the Internet which revolutionised the world of communications.While mankind was taking pride in the strides it was making, it was forgetting that innocence was slowly getting depleted and malice was making inroads on Planet Earth. A combination of these inventions have led to a smart and comfortable life for us, but for some it has spewed disaster.Technology gaining popularity: In India, with a billion emotions, lifestyles, characters and ambitions, malice has been energised by technology today . One can’t wish away some facts, as there was and in certain quarters of our society, there is still a practice of marriage where the groom and bride don’t see each other till the big day.But technology has definitely gained immense popularity amidst tradition. After the boom hit the by-lanes of urban and rural India, youngsters and even middle aged have been clicking the mouse to befriend the opposite or same sex because it provided complete secrecy.In a society which is attenuated by fatwas and honour killings mediums like the internet provided much needed reprieve to men and women who wanted to make friends, wanted discreet relationships, long term relationships, etc.Dating sites and chat rooms provided a way for these men and women, but there was either a price to actually end up meeting someone online, or with a free account, it was sheer luck which ended up in meeting the ‘intentional sex’. Else, one ended up with a fake Melinda or Radha who actually is a Mario or Radhakishan.Social networking Sites: Instant messaging was a little safer because one would talk to a known person. Come Social Networking Sites — Orkut, Face book, MySpace, Twitter and more — instant messaging became redundant; one’s social personality came to fore and privacy was exposed like never before in the real world and in the cyber space. The community oriented sites saw a beating from Alexa (a site which provides information about websites including Top Sites, Internet Traffic Statistics, etc) rating while these individual centered sites saw a jump.In most cases, even Facebook, on any given account, probably 25 per cent, if not more, are fake friends. The mechanism is such that one looks at a pretty face and clicks ‘accept’, not knowing if the person is a ‘he or a she’, married or unmarried, criminal or a drug addict. The recent case of Sreerag committing suicide over a fake online relationship is a classic example of how online sites can have a strong emotional impact on a person.“We have heard of men and women committing suicide over failed love, but these were real instances in the real world. With mobile phones came Short Messaging Service (SMS) and the Multimedia Messaging Service (MMS), which brought to fore several disastrous and traumatic cases; suicide and in some cases societal boycott. With the internet, the bonding with words brought in a new dimension to many neurons, especially neurons within the brain of youngsters. It got better or worse with a face on the screen. The neurons got into a frenzy,” said a psychiatrist from St. John’s National Academy of Health Sciences.Online affairs: There are many product sites which show a photo of the product, the price, the features and of late, the trend of Indian neurons getting active due to such sites has begun. Many online purchases are being made by looking at a photo. In some cases, the intentional purpose of the product because of which the neurons got active and the eventual disappointment on actually seeing the product may be tough but not tragic. This is mainly because the emotional quotient is active at a miniscule level.The reason why online affairs are on the rise is because they are looking for excitement through words and the powers of letters woven with certain sprinkles of compassion, sex or emotion that gets the neurons active. “Nowadays people are on Face book, in chat rooms talking as friends. It may seem harmless at first but after a while one ends up sharing intimate details. One starts to share a lot more to the online friend than real friends. The emotional dependence is much higher because there is a certain amount of ambiguity and for many it is exciting,” the psychiatrist said.Attempted suicide cases: “Bangalore as a city is rated the number one place for attempted suicide cases. The main reason for this is rapid urbanisation and as a result increased migration. In the case of online love affairs, the emotional dependence on a person, whom one has not met is high and this happens mostly in the age group of 15-25 years.The person starts to think that whatever they share online is going to remain permanent. They start imagining things about the other person and slowly a personality of the person is built in the mind.The imaginary person is the most perfect person for the individual as he or she has built it on their own in their mind. When there is a loss, there is anger. The imaginary world is shattered. And when the person gets angry on himself or herself is when the suicidal tendency builds up,” says Dr Thomas M J, Consultant Psychiatrist, a Fellow of Indian Psychiatric Society and Member of National Academy of Medical Sciences (India).Forgive or forget: Once the realisation seeps into whoever is the faker or cheater that now is the time to end it, the distancing starts and that is when the online medium becomes the Satan.The phenomenon is not only prevalent in India, but even in the developed Western world. But in most cases, unlike India, in the West whoever has been cheated sues the other and gets benefited. But in India, the usual route is either forget or forget life itself.On his website, Dr Shyam K Bhat, Psychiatrist and Integrative Medicine specialist states that no relationship is worth killing oneself. “Suicide is an impulsive action, and often indicates an existing emotional problem, perhaps depression,” he states.Professional intervention: “Depression is a clinical illness, causing hypersensitivity to rejection, a loss of self-esteem, hopelessness and worthlessness; even a breakup of a relationship might seem like a good reason to kill oneself.We could prevent suicide if the media and society at large informs people of the truth — that emotional distress, when it crosses a certain threshold, indicates the need for professional intervention, that emotional problems and stress are treatable, and that events by themselves are almost never the direct cause of suicide,” Dr Shyam states.Bangalore is posting alarming statistics (see box) and the cyber crime department is worried. They want youngsters to take informed decisions and use technology constructively. In the movie ‘You’ve got mail’, two business rivals hate each other at work but fall in love over the internet. In India too, there are such instances. Then there are successful matrimonial sites. Face book too has actively setup several platforms as well as tie-ups to prevent cases of suicide posting or suicide itself. Technology needs to be used constructively and it is time today’s youth understand it.
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