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Little did 24-year-old school teacher Jaya (name changed) imagine that a seemingly innocuous conversation, which she started with a stranger on one of the leading social networking sites, would turn her life upside down in 10 months — that she would become a pathetic victim to one of the countless predators prowling the networking sites and the fairytale dreams would turn into a real-life legal nightmare.
It was in November 2011, that Jaya, a science graduate with a teaching degree, received a poke alert on her Facebook page. It was from a man she had never seen before. There were enough reasons for her to have rejected it at once. But Jaya gave into temptation. “He sent a message claiming that he knew me very well,” she said.
And she was inclined to believe him. Robert Francis (32) belonged to the same religious denomination as her and she thought that he had come to know her through mutual friends. However, when the friendship had developed, he changed his tone. “He claimed that he had mistakenly sent it to me,” she said. “But he had no answer when I pointed out that my user name was unique and he couldn’t have made a mistake.”
The bond deepened when Robert messaged, “You are spl to me,” and promised to marry and take care of her. He also flooded her with ‘godly’ messages.
A native of Sriperumbudur, Jaya’s father was a retired government employee. She saw that Robert was a BBA graduate and ran a successful travel company in Anna Nagar. “He gave me the address of his company and his contact number,” she said.
Soon, they were talking over the mobile phone. She met him in his office in January and became intimate. In May, she became pregnant and the nightmare then began. He forced her to take abortion tablets. When she started bleeding, her mother rushed her to a hospital. What more, when she insisted that he marry her, lodged a police complaint, alleging extortion. Jaya had to give up her job due to the scandal and forced to seek police help herself.
“In cases such as these, we treat women as the victims. He cheated her with the promise of marriage,” Inspector C S Gowri of the All Women Police Station in Anna Nagar, said, adding: “We also found that he had been simultaneously carrying on with another woman for four years.”
Robert was arrested and booked under Sections 376 (rape) and 313 (causing miscarriage without the woman’s consent).
Where did Jaya go wrong? “She broke a cardinal rule: Never meet in person a person whom you met on Facebook,” said Mohana Narayanan, a professional counsellor, who runs a private clinic and also conducts sessions in schools.
Coming down heavily on social networking sites, she said, “I believe that people who are into these sites are those who are not comfortable with face-to-face communication. They hide behind a screen to have a wide circle of friends. The more ‘likes’ you get, the more you think you are popular,” she rued. The counsellor, who deals with screen addiction (computer, TV and mobile phone) in children, attributed the growing popularity of networking sites to absence of ground rules of behaviour that one would have to follow while meeting relatives or friends in person. And women are particularly vulnerable when their emotional needs are not met, she felt.
“The thought that I need to connect to a fulfilling relationship can lead women to these sites,” Narayanan said. “But are you going to connect to a person who may have 10 Facebook accounts and as many personalities,” she asked.
“You need to be so careful and avoid getting into personal relationships,” she warned. Facebook ensures connectivity, but the privacy rules must be strictly followed, she added. Sudha Ramalingam, a senior advocate, echoed the same view, “Whatever is on Facebook is what the person wants him or her to be seen.”
Inspector Gowri says that women in such situations should seek police help. “Women should approach us as soon as they have any problems,” she says. The recent experience has made Jaya bitter. “Most of them on these sites are cheats. Only a few are genuine. Women should be careful and not believe everyone, especially when they talk about god,” she says.
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