Times change, changing a lot with them. Civilisation evolves. Technology changes. And so does our worldview. But some things still remain the same- whether they bring good to the world or foster ill-will, violence, hatred and suffering. Take domestic violence for example.
The National Family Health Survey (NFHS-4) suggests that 30 percent women in India in the age group of 15-49 have experienced physical violence. The survey reported that among married women who have experienced physical violence in that age bracket, 83 per cent reported their present husbands as perpetrators of the violence. However, for women who are not married, the experience of physical violence stems from common perpetrators which include mothers or step-mothers (56%), fathers or step-fathers (33%), sisters or brothers (27%), and teachers (15%).
Domestic violence is one of the most prevalent forms of violence against women in India. According to the 2015-16 NFHS-4, 52 percent of women and 42 percent of men agreed with one or more of the specified seven reasons for wife beating - she goes out without telling him; she neglects the house or the children; she argues with him; she refuses to have sex with him; she doesn’t cook food properly; he suspects her of being unfaithful; and she shows disrespect for her in-laws.
This practice has continued for centuries, and is unlikely to go away anytime soon. What’s worrying is the acceptance across large sections of the population who seem to have normalized it. It is not uncommon to hear “It’s okay, it happens between husband and wife. No big deal.”
Which is why Anubhav Sinha’s Thappad is a much-needed film where the message is loud and clear – IT’S NOT OKAY. NOT EVEN ONCE. NOT FOR A SECOND.
Domestic abuse cuts across religion, caste, income groups, education levels etc. It happens in educated families too. Most mothers and mothers-in-law in Indian families are known to brush it under the carpet or urge their daughters and daughters-in-law to accept it in the larger interest of the family or for the sake of their children. As a result, most domestic abuse survivors are forced to take it in their stride. However, acceptance by the victim has emboldened the perpetrator of the violence, and so it has continued.
Normalising domestic violence needs to stop. Now. The impact and influence of mass media cannot be underestimated to bring about positive changes in society. Thappad is a powerful film which sends the right message. Could it lead to a much-needed generational change for the better? What do you think?
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