Obeying Your Parents
Listen to your parents. It's important to remember that your parents have more life experience than you; therefore, they know more than you. In fact, there's a saying “Father knows best.” So, no matter how much you think you know, your parents will know more and will know what's best for you. By paying attention to your parents, you are letting them know that you care about hearing what they have to say. There are some things that you can do to show your parents that you're not only listening, but you're actually hearing them. Give your parents your undivided attention. You are demonstrating to your parents that you're open to communicating with them and you respect what they have to say. Don't try to talk over your parents while they are talking. This is a sure sign that you're more interested in talking rather than listening. Don't be rude by talking back to your parents or by interrupting them with rude remarks. Making rude comments creates tension and things can quickly escalate. Avoid pouting, whining, throwing a tantrum, or making gestures and faces to indicate your irritation with your parents. Don't ignore your parents when they are talking to you or asking you to do something. By ignoring your parents, you're showing them that what they have to say doesn't really matter, which may cause them to become agitated and upset.
Do what your parents ask you to do. Once you reach a certain age, you may think that it's okay to do what you want to do instead of what your parents ask you to do. Remember that they are your parents and not your friends. If they ask you to do something, make sure that you do it even if it doesn't make sense to you or you don't feel like doing it. Make sure that you do your chores. It's best if your parents don't have to keep asking you to do your chores. If you know what you have to do, whether it's daily or weekly, make sure that you get it done. Don't be lazy. One of the best things that you can do for your parents is to be helpful. Not only is it important to do your personal chores, but you can offer additional help with things like yardwork, putting the groceries away, preparing meals, doing the laundry, walking the dog, and washing the car.
Avoid arguing with your parents. It's common to think that your parents are wrong and you're right. Even if you are right, you don't have to prove you're right by arguing with your parents. There's a saying “You don't want to win the battle and lose the war.” It's okay to disagree with your parents, but by constantly arguing with your parents, you run the risk of shutting down future communication between you and your parents. Be patient throughout your conversation with your parents. Avoid raising your voice by calmly stating your point of view. Allow your parents an opportunity to share their point of view. This doesn’t mean you can’t ask questions! If you don’t understand what they’re asking you to do—or why they’re even asking in the first place—respectfully ask for more info.
Respecting Your Parents
Use proper manners when interacting with your parents. The way that you respond to your parents demonstrates how much you truly respect them. It's important that you speak to them in a respectful manner. It helps to use phrases like “yes, ma'am,” “no, sir,” “please,” and “may I” when addressing your parents, as well as using a respectful tone. Avoid screaming and yelling at your parents, even if you feel like they don't hear you. Don't make demands to your parents. Remember they are not obligated to do what you want them to do. The slang that you use when you address your friends is not the same language you should use when you address your parents. So, terms like “dude” or “chick” and “girlie” should not be used with your parents. Whenever you're ending a phone call with your parents, make sure that you say “goodbye.” Never just hang up without saying anything.
Communicate effectively. Being able to communicate effectively and authentically with your parents shows that you respect them. Whether you need help or advice, need permission to do something, or you need to share some bad news that may disappoint your parents, it's important to start the conversation. It’s okay to express yourself and say how you feel so long as you’re respectful. Determining what you want to achieve from the conversation can help you stay focused on what's important. Maybe you are unclear about your parents expectations of you. Don't be afraid to ask them, and be willing to listen without interrupting. If you simply need to tell them about something that's bothering you, and you don't necessarily want their advice, make sure that you communicate that in the beginning. When your parents notice that something is bothering and they ask you, be honest and tell them exactly what's wrong. Don't deny it; it will only fester inside of you.
Acknowledge the presence of your parents. Whenever your parents enter a room or you're seeing them for the first time that day, be sure to greet them. You should never give your parents the silent treatment, even when you're upset. When you are entertaining friends at your house, you will need to make sure that your friends also acknowledge your parents by formally greeting them. If you're out with your parents in public, don't pretend like you're not with them because you find them embarrassing.
Show genuine appreciation for your parents. No matter how old you are, your parents have a strong track record of taking care of you and providing for you. Make sure that you show gratitude for what they have done and what they continue to do for you. You'll want to avoid taking your parents for granted. Always say “thank you” whenever your parents give you something, share something with you, or do something for you. Let your parents know that you appreciate any sacrifices that they have made for you. From time to time, you should let your parents know that you deeply value the lessons they've taught you.
Understand that your parents will have to tell you “no” sometimes, and it's more than likely for a good reason. You will not get everything you want when you want it. Your parents are entitled to say “no,” especially if it's for your own good. You should not question their decisions or underestimate their ability to decide what's best for you. Don't challenge their authority. Never try to manipulate them into giving you what you want. If you ever want to state your case after being told “no,” try writing it out in a letter. It’s a lot easier to process how you feel and explain what you want when you write it down.
Making Your Parents Proud
Make your education a priority. You can make your parents proud by doing your absolutely best to get good grades in school, and staying out of trouble. Your academic achievement is one of a few things that will follow you all throughout your life, so it's important that you take your education seriously. Study for all of your quizzes, tests, and exams. Don't be ashamed to let your parents know if you're struggling with school work and need a tutor. Give yourself plenty of time to complete your assignments before the due date. Be an example of a well-behaved student, and don't allow peer pressure to steer you in the direction of risky behavior.
Take some initiative by getting involved in extracurricular activities. Parents take great pride when you participate in team sports and activities that require dedication and commitment. Whether it is athletics, the marching band, the debate team, or volunteering in your community, parents are thrilled to come out to support you and even brag about your performance.
Show your parents that you can be responsible. Honoring your commitments, being trustworthy, taking care of things, finishing what you start and doing what you're supposed to do is a delight to your parents and puts a smile on their face. If you tell your parents that you are going to do something, make sure that you do it. Be honest about where you're going, what you will be doing, and who you are with. Take responsibility for your actions. You are not perfect, and you will make mistakes. Don't be afraid to apologize when you do something wrong that disappoints your parents. Make sure that you take good care of the things that your parents give you or allow you to use. For example, if they buy you a car or loan you their car, don't trash it.
Showing Your Parents Love
Show your parents that you care about them. You may have heard the saying “It's the little things.” Telling your parents that you love them on a regular basis can warm their hearts; however, doing little caring things, when they least expect you to, will show them that you truly do love them. Do something to surprise them. Make them a meal, do a chore they generally have to do, or do something else that they wouldn't expect. Write them a brief love note, send a thoughtful text message, or give them a touching greeting card on an ordinary day. Arrange to spend some quality time with them. If they are feeling “under the weather” offer to help nurse them back to health.
Accept your parents for who they are. Just like you're not perfect, you're parents are not perfect either. They are human. They also struggle with various things, and can often be under a lot of stress. You can bring them joy by simply embracing them. Allow them to make mistakes. Avoid judging them. Make sure that you forgive them. Encourage them every opportunity that you get.
Show your parents affection. Teenagers are notorious for feeling awkward and uncomfortable with displaying affection for a parent. But sometimes just a touch can go a long way with a parent. You're never too young or too old to be affectionate with your parents. Surprise them with a kiss goodnight. Give them a warm hug when they least expect it. Wrap your arm around your father. Hold your mother's hand as she's walking.
Being Your Own Person
Be true to who you are. As much as your parents may want you to conform to the ideal child, you should still be yourself at all times, and be true to who you are. Also, if you're desperately trying to fit in with a certain group of people, make sure that you don't pretend to be something that you're not. Be willing to be your own individual without be ashamed of any quirks and unique interests. Be a leader instead of follower. Don't ignore your conscience or your instinct, even if it goes against what's popular or the norm. If you feel different from everybody else, don't be afraid to embrace it and express it.
Be proud of yourself and your accomplishments. Even when your parents and peers are not exactly praising you or celebrating your accomplishments, be proud of yourself. Give yourself a pat on the back when you achieve a personal goal. Ignore negativity and discouraging words that minimize who you are and what you've accomplished. Reward yourself by treating yourself to something special when you overcome an obstacle.
Be willing to take risks. Maybe you don't consider yourself talented or athletic, but try out for the drama team or a sport to see if you have what it takes. Most of things simply require practice. Write down the things that you want to do and achieve, then post it on your mirror or bedroom door. Try. Read the poem “It's Better To Try And Fail Than Never To Try At All.”
Do your best. Realize that your parents may have unrealistic expectations and will never be satisfied when it comes to you. In fact, you may already be working hard to please your parents, only to find out that you can't please them no matter what you do. Just remember that all you can do is your best. Decide which expectations you can meet and which ones you can't. Avoid harboring feelings of guilt or shame when you fell to meet an expectation. Always forgive yourself. Always know that you're good enough.
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