How to Give a Relaxing Full Body Massage at Home

Creating a Relaxing Atmosphere

Pick a private, warm room to massage in. When the room is comfortable, the person you’re massaging will feel comfortable, too. Keep the heat a little bit higher than normal, since the person you’re massaging will be mostly undressed. Make sure the room is private as well so that there are no interruptions.

Play some soothing music. Choose some gentle classical music, or even some sounds from nature. These calming, relaxing noises will help your partner or client calm down and really enjoy the experience. Keep the music softly playing in the background instead of turned up loud. You want the music to add to the experience, not take away from it.

Light some candles and dim the lights. There's something very relaxing about candles, so it's a good idea to light a couple around the room. Try some with relaxing (but not overpowering) scents, like lavender, sea breeze, or tropical. If possible, turn the lights down low or off completely and work only by candlelight. You want the person receiving the massage to be so relaxed that they're almost asleep by the end, so the darker it is the better!

Cover the area in towels and have a few nearby. As you massage the other person, you’re going to get a lot of oil everywhere. Cover the surface with fresh towels, and keep a couple on hand so you can wipe off your fingers as needed. Use extra towels to cover the person’s body as you work. Ideally, the person you’re massaging will be stripped down to their underwear (or wearing nothing at all). Use the towels to cover up any parts of the body that you aren’t working on so they feel safe and comfortable the entire time. If you’re massaging your partner, have them lie down on the bed. If you’re massaging a client, use a professional massage table.

Basic Massage Technique

Start by massaging the neck and shoulders. Place a hand on either shoulder in the classic massage position and knead your thumbs deep into the muscles of the shoulders. Use your fingers for grip, but don't press them into the collarbone, as this can be painful. When you've finished with the shoulders, use the press and release technique to massage along the neck, all the way to the hairline. Remember to keep your hands on either side of the spine. Now move around to stand in front of your client/partner's head, so their shoulders are facing you. Make a fist with each hand, then rub the knuckles gently but firmly across the tops of the shoulders, to release any tension, Use your thumbs to press and release along the tops of the shoulders and up the back of the neck.

Massage the feet. Start massaging the soles of the feet by wrapping both hands around the foot and using your thumbs to apply pressure. Pay special attention to the arch of each foot, as this area tends to accumulate a lot of tension. When you get to the toes, grab each one individually and give it a gentle pull. Keep in mind that not everyone likes having their feet touched, and some people are very ticklish. Ask your partner or client before you touch their feet!

Work your way up the legs. Give each leg a couple of long, relaxing strokes to begin with, all the way from the calf to the upper thigh. Then, cover the leg you're not currently working on with a towel and focus on massaging the calf of one leg. Use a kneading technique (like kneading bread) to work the calf muscle. Move up towards the thigh and repeat the kneading technique here. Then press the heel of your hand into the skin and very slowly move it along the thigh. Apply light pressure with both hands, smoothly stretching the skin. This technique is known as effleurage, and is a good way to ease into the massage. Cover the leg you just finished working on with a towel (to keep in heat) and repeat the massage on the other leg.

Move from the lower to the upper back. Place the palm of each hand on either side of the spine and work your way up, keeping your hands parallel to one another. When you reach the top of the back, fan your hands outwards across the shoulders, as if outlining the top of a heart. Return to the lower back and use a kneading motion to work the large muscles on either side of the spine. Then, use a "press and release" technique to work your way up the back. This involves pressing your fingertips firmly into the flesh of the back before quickly releasing. When the pressure is released, your partner/client's brain will release a rush of pleasurable chemicals. These areas tend to build up a lot of tension, so make sure to spend some time here. When you get to the upper back, have your partner/client bend their elbows so their shoulder blades stick out. This will give you better access to the muscle around the edge of the shoulder blades, which tends to harbor a lot of tension and knots. To work on the knots, use a thumb or single finger to press and release repeatedly around the problem area.

Massage the hands and arms. Hold their wrist in your left hand, so their entire arm is lifted from the bed. Then, use your right hand to sweep along the back of the forearm, along the tricep and over the shoulder, coming back on the opposite side. Now, switch to holding their wrist in your right hand, then sweep your left hand along their forearm and bicep, then over the shoulder and down the opposite side. To massage the hands, take their hand in yours and massage the palm with your thumbs, using small circular motions. Then, take each finger in turn and slowly slide from the knuckles to the nail. Pull each finger firmly, but not so hard that you cause it to crack.

End with a head massage. Ask them to flip over so you can work on the head and face. Use your thumbs to gently massage the top of the scalp. Next, massage the folds and lobe of each ear between your thumb and forefinger. Then, use your fingertips to gently swipe along the contours of the cheekbones. Put your hands beneath your partner/client's head and lift it slightly from the bed. Use your fingers to find the small hollows when the neck meets the base of the skull. Apply firm pressure with your fingertips, then release. Repeat several times. To finish the massage, use your fingertips to gently massage the temples, moving in slow circular motions. The temples are an important acupressure point, so this helps to relieve tension.

Perfecting the Massage

Use a massage oil. Massage oil helps your hands glide seamlessly over the other person’s body. That way, you won’t accidentally pinch or pull the skin. You can use massage oil that’s made specifically for massages, or you can use coconut oil or sesame oil. Jojoba and almond oils are also very effective and have a pleasant aroma. Try to warm the oil and your hands slightly before applying the oil to your partner/client's skin. Cold oil/hands are not conducive to a relaxing massage! Or, put the oil bottle in warm water to warm it up.

Work slowly. Never try to rush through the massage—it should be a luxurious, relaxing experience for the person you’re working on. There’s no set timeline, but an average massage usually lasts between 40 to 60 minutes. Dedicate time to each individual body part, giving it your full care and attention, and keep your strokes long, smooth and slow.

Keep your hands in contact with the skin at all times. This keeps the momentum flowing and never breaks the atmosphere of relaxation. Even if you have to grab a towel, a drink of water or more massage oil during the massage, try to keep one hand on the skin at all times.

Communicate with the person you’re massaging. What feels good to you mightn't feel good to the other person, so it's important to ask them how they're feeling and to really take note of their responses. Ask them about pressure, what body part you’re touching, and what they enjoy the most. Try to speak in a low, soothing voice to maintain the calm atmosphere.

Spend extra time on any knots you find. Knots are big groupings of muscle fiber that may feel stiff or sore. The knots may feel like large, circular areas of tightness, or tiny bumps which almost feel like peas beneath the skin. Try to get directly on top of the knot, otherwise it can slip out from beneath your fingers. Use your thumbs to dig into the knots and slowly release the pressure. Make sure to ask the person you’re massaging if they want you to work out their knots. This can be a little uncomfortable, and some people might not want that during a relaxing massage.

Avoid massaging the spine and any bones. Massaging bones is uncomfortable, and won’t be very relaxing. As you move through the muscle groups, stick to the spongy, fleshy muscles and don’t work on anything hard. Besides, it is the muscles you really need to work on, as this is where the most tension collects. Stick to the muscles and you can't go wrong!