More marriages on the rocks

KOCHI: The fact that 42,436 divorce cases have been registered before the family courts between January 2011 and January 2012 is a dampener for the state which boasts of high literacy and health care indices.This proves that awareness campaigns and counselling sessions held to address the issue are inadequate, feel opinion leaders.“Through education, more women are being made aware of their rights which leads to confrontation and divorce.It is because our society is yet to be gender-sensitive.Men are reluctant to share responsibilities in a relationship.The political, religious, social and cultural aspects of the state are not conducive for working women,” said Beena Sebastian, founder, Cultural Academy of Peace.That women and men are equal partners should be instilled in boys and girls as part of their upbringing.“Boys and girls should be made to know that they are equal and complementary and also that they are responsible for family and society, otherwise more Govindaswamys will come up in our society,” she said.Family orientation should be built by empowering and moulding their behaviour pattern.“Our education system should change and incorporate such elements.Moreover, parents should be less rebellious and should be role models,” she said.Beena added that due to lack of spirituality and consequent radical thinking none has the patience to analyse one’s weaknesses.Clinical psychologist Dr Prakash Chandran said the rise in nuclear families and lack of leadership in families have led to degradation of family values and stress which result in divorce.“While most children are willing to settle the cases after counselling, parents intervene and offer to support the child.They are not willing to let their child take emotional, financial or relationship risk,” he said.Parents should learn to accept negative traits of their children.Their ego also comes in the way.Children are taught to be independent but dependency is equally important, he said.Long working hours and inadequate space for relaxing and exchanging pleasures in a relationship lead to stress which makes marriage a burden for many with no thought for the next generation.Today divorce does not hold a stigma and society is not looking at divorce in a proper light.Moreover, legal procedures are so time consuming that a good part of petitioners’ life is lost to it, Dr Prakash said.But mediator and arbitrator Kurien Mathew attributes the causes to medical issues.Based on his study on 180 cases between September 2010 and August 2011, he said in 40 cases the wives were suffering from thyroid problems.“Due to the hormonal imbalance, they show masculine features, aversion to sex and express extreme emotions.About 30 to 35 per cent cases are due to sexual issues and 25 per cent due to extramarital affairs,” he said.Even now the cases coming to me show the same trend.“If these medical problems are treated, these cases can be settled,” he said.